What is Trust?

How do you handle your stress? What makes it go away? I have a couple songs I listen to, which always help. The song I ALWAYS want to hear when I’m stressed is Gravity by Shawn McDonald.. There are so many memories from this song of being stressed out and listening to this song sprawled on the floor in a dark room.. (it really does make you feel better to throw yourself on the floor..lol) but the biggest stress reliever for me is to laugh with people I can trust. It’s not the same when you laugh with people you aren’t close with or don’t trust much because you’re still hiding exactly how you’re feeling. You have that wall up where no matter what you’re protected, the fake smile, the fake laugh, the hiding it in the subconscious so no one will see it on your face. Now granted even if I’m around people (a group usually) I trust I won’t (if ever) say what I’m stressed about or even usually anything about what’s going on, but I feel enough at ease to truly laugh instead of fake it. I do still try to hide it from my face or just hide it in general, although I’ve discovered that it’s those weird moments when you’re off in your own world just thinking that I apparently have it written all over my face. Sometimes I know it’s just my “thought face” lol but there are times it’s a real concern, stress, problem etc..etc..

It tends to throw me off a bit when people notice though.. Or more actually when they not only notice, but ask about it. Depending on what it is and who they are will depend on if I tell them.
Which brings me to a topic that my friends here in the VA and I have talked about a decent amount.. The whole concept of levels of trust… Apparently guys are fairly simple in the way they trust.. Either they trust you or they don’t. Girls (or I guess I really am just speaking about me..) are very different.

So then.. I have I think 6 levels.. lol but let me explain…
1st.. The “I’ve just met you” level. You haven’t proven that you won’t hurt me, try anything. You haven’t shown yourself to be anything more than another person. These people aren’t even considered acquaintances. They aren’t considered to be trust worthy at all.

2nd.. The “Acquaintance” level. These people are trustworthy enough that you know they won’t try anything, they basically are people you like, but for whatever reason either don’t know well, or they haven’t proven trustworthy enough to get to know more about you than the basic surface stuff.

3rd.. The “Friends” level. This is a HUGE level for me… I mean I have a TON of friends, so a whole slew of them fall under this category. These people are friends, you hang out with them, laugh with them, and generally have a good time.. Some of these people you will share certain things with, but for the most part it’s fairly easy going. There isn’t a whole lot of ‘pushing’ each other. You don’t use these people to bounce problems off of, and you generally don’t talk about things that are close to the heart… They tend to be (as bad as it sounds) the only for fun friends.

4th.. The “Good Friends” level. I have a decent number of people I would consider good friends. These people have proven themselves to be trustworthy. They know you well enough to be able to read you at least in part. They can push you as a friend (most importantly the push you towards God type.. but not all good friends are that type of good friend). In general these people are trustworthy with most things, maybe not the big fears or the things that are touchy and close to the heart.. but they can keep secrets, have proven to be reliable, and have shown they truly care about who you are. Sometimes these people are simply people you have known forever, and you know where the boundaries are for them and where you can and cannot trust them, but you have known them too long, and been through too much to NOT say they are a good friend. This level is kinda a flex level cause with some people the relationship is a very reciprocal give and take friendship, and other people it is only one sided. And still other times these are the people who used to be best friends, but for whatever reason (usually distance or length of time since you’ve seen them and talked last) they aren’t as close as they used to be.

5th.. The “Best Friends” level. Now, I know that this is kinda an odd level, since people still try to tell me that you have only one best friend.. but that’s simply not true for me. I have a whole slew of best friends.. Granted there are different types of best friends, and I have people I call best friends that I will never stop calling them that because they were for a certain time period in my life.. So, I guess I feel like they deserve that title lol.. But, these are the people you can trust. They hold your secrets, they push you to be better, the relationship is very reciprocal, and these are the people who it’s ok if they see you weak. These are the people who I know I can call on at any time for anything and they will be there if it’s within their power. I can laugh with them, cry with them, and I can be in any mood and they will still love me. These are the people I get mad around, vent around, and the people who know my fears and insecurities. They feel free to call me out of things, and usually are the people I think of first when I am struggling, and as sad as it is the ones I think of praying for the most. These are the people who you can not see each other or talk for MONTHS and when you do it’s like everything is exactly as it was πŸ™‚ I love these friends πŸ™‚

6th.. This is the “Intimate” level. Really this is only for bf/husband… Because regardless there is a level reserved for one person. And when I say this level is reserved for boyfriend.. That does NOT mean I am “all his” until we are married simply being of bf status doesn’t mean he automatically gets me.. it means there are things he will get to learn that others won’t (once he has proven himself..).

So, those are the basic levels. Each person is clearly dealt with individually, but these are the basic categories I put everyone in. There are also more details and it’s way more complicated
then it was described here.. but this is the basics πŸ™‚ And no, I probably won’t say where you are… especially if others are in the room.

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