So, it’s been an interesting couple of days. With my brother here now, it’s a totally different pace of life.. and so fun and different sorta melding the two worlds of home and new home… 🙂 We have some great things planned and I can’t hardly wait to do them!… But, at the same time, the pace is slow right now.. he’s catching up on some much needed sleep, and I’m just chilling on the couch for some much needed “do nothing” time.
I tend towards running and moving all the time.. and honestly don’t think of it much. Usually until I get a moment to breath and then I realize.. WHOA! This time I saw the exhaustion coming.. or I guess more felt it coming because of reactions to certain people. Most cases I am a fairly patient person with the ignorances of others.. but little by little my patience level was reaching an end.. and I saw it coming.. So, I’m finally chilling and relaxing.. and there’s nothing better than having family around to do that 🙂
In other news… I had a really rough night a couple nights ago. For whatever reason I became extremely anxious and concerned about a situation I see that has the potential to be either REALLY good or REALLY bad… And, the other night all I could see was the bad. I hate nights like that, because it’s not that my trust in God dwindles.. it’s that something covers my view of the trust I have… I mean the trust was still there, but it was like I could no longer see it to focus on it… It took a long time, and a lot of comforting words by my best friend from home, before I was able to start seeing it again. I also emailed another friend asking for their perspective because I was fairly confident that they would be able to offer some insight I did not have… and they did. I am so grateful for their perspective. They had a lot of comforting words, and I felt they were able to accurately view the situation without anything clouding their vision, which lets be honest… the more people like that you can have around the better 🙂
Today, I am back to being at peace about the situation that I got anxious about. I realize that regardless it is out of my control and my ability to do anything more than pray about it… Which, does not mean pray for what I want… (although I tell God IF He is interested my thoughts are… haha as though He is polling..). But, either way, I figure communicating with Him what I want is more for my own benefit and knowing that I am actually communicating with Him than because I actually expect Him to do what I want… And, lets be honest.. what I want never really compares to the way He works it out in the long run.. and I am always so incredibly thankful for the way things actually work out… Just sometimes I forget that and need to be reminded.
Thank you Jesus for my friends who remind me.