I feel like a crazy person. Almost as though I am crazy, but only think I am sane… and in reality, everyone around me is truly the sane ones… Confused yet? Me too… Good grief.
In multiple areas of my life people are reacting and responding to things that are seriously confusing. The situations in and of themselves I understand, and I can even see where what I did would confuse or upset them, but when I begin to explain (again with the ocd need to be understood), they act as though what I am saying makes no logical sense at all… I am trying, truly trying to understand where their issue is, especially after I have given possible options to the situations and that does not seem to solve the problem. If any of these things were one at a time it would be no big deal, I would gracefully be able to handle them and it would be no worries.. but when multiple ones come up at the same time while I have a million other things to work on and worry about..
I am not totally sure what to do, and I have no idea how to actually react because my instinctive reaction is to get mad, and yell, and demolish them with a flurry of reasons and explanations that would cause them to pause and think in order to catch everything I have said.. But, the reality is that does not really solve anything but help me “get my way” which is not really what I want either… I want to actually SOLVE these issues, which means shutting my mouth and listening… gah! I just find it all frustrating, and something I would rather not have to deal with at all… Which, lets be honest, that is a large portion of adulthood, dealing with things we would rather not deal with…
Jesus time. That’s what I need.. serious Jesus time because I am beyond full in my capacity to handle and deal with whatever I have on my plate right now.