So, I have been confronted with a couple interesting situations lately that have left me confused to say the least. Most of the situations include someone or mulitple people assuming I am thinking something, even after I have said what my feelings are or thoughts are about the situation… Comments from them, such as “I just really feel like you’re judging me right now..” or “I know you think I’m a terrible person and judging me right now..” and each time I correct them and inform them that I am in fact having no thoughts even remotely close to that.. At that point, I tend to give them my actual thoughts and remind them that I am not judging them.
Several of the conversations have included me retorting with “Don’t accuse me of thinking..” which is a quote I heard in a movie and loved it. So often, we tend to construct arguments and allow our feelings to follow a path solely based on what we THINK the other person is thinking. How silly is that?
One particular instance I reminded the person I was NOT their mother, and if I seriously disagreed with what they were doing I would say so. If they felt they were disappointing me, then maybe they should seriously look into their own heart, because in order to disappoint someone, they have to have a certain expectation level… And, in order for them to get really frustrated with the situation it would mean probably a lack of communication with Jesus.
I went on at a later point explaining that part of my frustration when others decide I am judging them is they have decided who I am, and in some way have placed me on this pedestal, and I HATE that.. it is not my place to be there. I explained that if you tell me you will or will not do something, act a certain way, say certain things.. I choose to believe your heart is pure. I may not always agree with choices or think they are the wisest of choices, but I will always choose to believe you are telling me the truth. Unless I see evidence to point otherwise, I choose to believe you are being honest, and if I see anything else I will say something…
“For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” – Matthew 7:2
I want to be clear, I am not choosing to believe your heart is pure and you are telling me the truth out of ignorance of how deceptive people are or could be. I choose to believe you are telling the truth because that is the ONLY way I know how to love you unconditionally. That does not mean you will always be perfect, honest, truthful, etc..etc.. what it means is it allows me the chance to always give the benefit of the doubt and choose to trust you. I cannot live my life being constantly skeptical of everyone. Skepticism allows no place for Jesus to work in someone’s heart. I always want to assume you can change or have changed.. or that ultimately you are choosing right (Jesus) over wrong… Allowing the chance to change does not mean forgetting about wisdom… I always go with my gut, but I also know it is not my place to play police with people if you do something wrong. I am not the one you have to answer to.. and I am very thankful for that!
So, just know.. I will always choose to believe you. I will always choose to believe you are being truthful and honest, and have a pure heart. Do not mistake this for ignorance or being sheltered, sometimes this choice comes with a lot of baggage and a lot of constantly giving it back to Jesus. It is my choice, not something I do just because.. I choose to care. I choose to possibly get hurt in the process of it all. I choose to potentially be lied to over and over. And, above it all, Jesus loves you, and it is just better to assume if I have not said anything, I am not judging you.
I choose this on purpose, not by accident.