Today is a serious I need Jesus morning. I went to bed crying out to Jesus, and woke up in the exact same state.. almost as though my sleeping hadn’t even gotten in the way of my prayers.

I hate when I cannot fix things for people. I hate when I have to sit and offer empathy and support, and I cannot actually offer anything… I hate when I cannot just solve the problem for someone. :/

My prayers always feel discombobulated when I am feeling this way. I always feel like I am at a loss for words to pray, that I have this mental block that keeps me from telling God what I am needing, wanting, feeling…

Here is what I know… My God is also my Lord. I will serve Him and follow Him regardless of how I feel. I will listen and be patient if it kills me. I will be strong and faithful because my Savior is here with me. Life is not easy, nor was it ever promised to be; but, I choose hard and rewarding any moment of any day before I would ever choose easy and mundane or boring. I do not understand a lot of “why’s” in my life, but I also know that if I knew all of the answers, I would not be the person I am today.. for the worse.

Psalm 37:1-13

1Do not fret because of evildoers,
         Be not envious toward wrongdoers.
    2For they will wither quickly like the grass
         And fade like the green herb.
    3Trust in the LORD and do good;
         Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.
    4Delight yourself in the LORD;
         And He will give you the desires of your heart.
    5Commit your way to the LORD,
         Trust also in Him, and He will do it.
    6He will bring forth your righteousness as the light
         And your judgment as the noonday.
    7Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him;
         Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,
         Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.
    8Cease from anger and forsake wrath;
         Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.
    9For evildoers will be cut off,
         But those who wait for the LORD, they will inherit the land.
    10Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;
         And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there.
    11But the humble will inherit the land
         And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity.
    12The wicked plots against the righteous
         And gnashes at him with his teeth.
    13The Lord laughs at him,
         For He sees his day is coming. 

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