I have a weird dichotomy type situation I find myself in. Part of me really desires to get out of my job, situation, city, etc.. and go elsewhere cause “surely life would be better”…. can anyone say “greener grass illness”?!.. Then another part of me does not want to give up my church, move again, go through the hassles that inherently come with moving.. including car/address/information/bill etc.. change over.. not to mention packing and pulling my life into upheaval again (for the 6th time in 3 years). I finally have been able to have some fun or relaxing times here in DC.. so I am a little leery to give (what feels like) the fragile state of my slowly growing contentment up. Then, part of me really desires to love what I am doing again.. to feel the daily satisfaction that what I am doing means something… or simply enjoy who I am working for again (weird how quickly we take that kinda stuff for granted…). I was asked a couple weeks ago if I could go anywhere.. where would I go?.. Atlanta. For a few reasons, which include the fact that I love Atlanta, it’s further south (hurray nicer winters), and my bff and her husband live there… But, there’s a part of me that just feels pulled there, and in all honesty I TRIED getting a job there a year ago when I was looking for new jobs.
So, in light of all of this, I feel a total lack of inspiration. No motivation to look for jobs, and when I have they all look hallow and like a slow torturous job, no matter how cool the job description seems. I cannot figure out if this is God’s way of telling me to hold off in looking.. or if it is his way of steering me to a specific job that “pops” to me.
Oh Lord give me guidance, speak to me.