There are days that I am pretty sure my exclusive purpose is to make it through the day as unscathed as possible… Then sometimes there are weeks, months, and years like that… I am somewhere in that mix.
I had a conversation tonight that was among some of the more weird and frustrating than I have had in a while… A “friend” I spent a while chatting with on facebook or text suddenly stopped talking to me. While I was curious, I honestly did not pursue it because it was clear that I was not wanted around. The couple times I reached out I was met with very little response and a very short answers, so I took the hint that my expiration date had worn off, and I was not wanted.
I went somewhere in the vicinity of 6weeks to 2 months without hearing from them. No big deal, and I really did not think of it much.
Out of the blue tonight I got a fb chat from this person. It started out just general chatting, asking me if I would come see them where they are working, and then when I pressed the fact that I had not heard from them in a while… along with the fact that I just assumed they had moved on, it quickly progressed into essentially attacking me for my cockiness in regards to my martial arts. It was an interesting conversation because these decisions about my cockiness were based exclusively off of text conversations, at no time was any of it face to face or even on the phone… (Let me pause here and say, text can be awesome.. but it is not a good way to understand the feelings and reasoning behind a lot of things people say. Too much is missed purely built into the nature of text communication.)
After a while of this, and it being apparent my explanations were not working I just apologized for the misunderstanding, and for the times that I know I am being cocky and just let them go until they were done, and decided they had enough, and then they bid me a good night and left.
….. uhm. Ok.
Not really sure what possessed this… interesting conversation, but it just leaves me with a very bitter taste in my mouth, and feeling beat up for no good reason.
Fantastic way to end a weekend that I worked most of it and begin the next work week.
People never cease to amaze me with their desires to share their thoughts about people and their situations without understanding all of it or even acknowledging there is probably more to the story. It is one thing to share your thoughts about a situation with the intent and heart to be of actual benefit to the person. A “tough love” conversation is always welcome… But, sharing your opinion about someone with really the only intent of walking away feeling you have somehow made your point known is not helpful to either party.
I get that I am a stronger person than most and can “handle” being trashed.. but seriously, I have no desire to be the stronger person when your only point is to hurt me so you feel better and justified.
So, now I walk away with the intent of forgiving and letting it go… regardless of how I feel about the situation.