Today has been like nails on a chalkboard on the inside…
Not in the physical sense, meaning I am not ill nor do I feel like I am getting sick. I literally mean it feels like the aggravation you have when someone is grinding their teeth or scratching a chalk board…
I am lacking a serious level of patience, I have little grace today for those who frustrate me, and I certainly have no place in my vocabulary to be understanding and helpful.
I have no idea where this is coming from, and have spent a decent amount of time just praying for clarity.. maybe it is just me, maybe I feel like being a jerk for no reason, there is always the chance that I am feeling tension because of my own issues, and maybe it has more to do with my own pride than anything else.. I don’t know.
What I do know is I am aggravated, I lack patience, I am frustrated… and something is wrong. I wish I could place it. Slide the missing piece back into its place and move forward. But, instead I am sitting here just frustrated.
I want clarity. I want understanding… If I am supposed to be feeling this way so I listen to what God’s trying to tell me better, I am not sure it is having its desired effect, but I certainly am talking to God about it more.
All I know is I am aggravated and frustrated, at mostly nothing in particular… Awesome.