Over the last few years, I have been praying for, writing in my prayer journal, and thinking on a fairly regular basis for my (to be) husband.
My prayers eb and flow depending on things going on in my life, the things that are pressing or burdening my heart take over the prayer time, sometimes I will just utter a quick “And please help my husband with things going on in his life, guide him, and help him to know you are near…” and then I’ll move on. Other days I am so caught up in praying for my (to be) husband that I end up laying in bed awake for more than an hour… There are days and even weeks when I forget to even think to pray for him, and then suddenly I will be burdened to pray for “whatever situation and decisions are going on or needing to be made” in his life.
It struck me the other day that it is a little odd that I pray for my husband (present tense) as if I have one.. haha.. Which, I do not… Nor do I have any hint or indication of who he might be. But, at the same time, I find it unique and comforting that it feels normal to use the present tense, especially since he does not have a name in my head yet, I do not have a face or voice to give him, so the only other option is to call him my husband..
Lately I have been praying a lot of clarity, guidance, and for him to hear God’s voice clearly… There is a pretty good chance part of those prayers are due to the fact that I am needing and wanting those same things from God, but at the same time, I have yet to feel like I am running out of things to pray for clarity and guidance on for him… And, then I have been asking that God’s timing in our meeting be perfect, and to keep both of us from growing impatient and making mistakes.
2012 is just a different year.. I am still not sure what to expect from this year.