So, I am officially unemployed for a few weeks and it is awesome… Except for the packing, homework, torn ligament in my hip, and dozens of goodbyes I have to go through over the next few weeks.
I mean the homework is just a normal part of life, and thankfully the class I am in currently (Power, Politics, and Influence) is actually fairly interesting. However, the packing is obnoxious, but made down right infuriating by the fact that I cannot lift anything heavy. Or more specifically, I have been instructed not to lift anything that requires my legs to pick up because my torn ligament in my hip needs time to heal… Great, good thing I am not moving in the next month… Seriously, the most aggravating thing ever. I can feel the unsteadiness of the torn ligament throughout the day, so thankfully I do not every forget about it, and there are times when I move a certain way that I am reminded with an electrifying shot to my hip that I have done or moved something incorrectly… Definitely keeps me in check. But, I am also not one to handle needing help well… Yet, here I am, in desperate need of those around me to help me move. Oye. Thankfully, I have awesome friends that can be bought with a decent dinner… However, the amazingness of my friends does not negate the fact that not being able to do it on my own is both aggravating and humbling at the same time. It is a really big struggle for me not to be able to do it on my own. *sigh* Yet another way the Lord is working on me to bring glory to Himself I guess…
It is such a surreal thing to move away from so many people you love. I mean, I have done it numerous times, but never on this scale before. This whole moving to MI thing is a bit overwhelming in general, but the reactions of those around me only makes it all the more overwhelming. However, the reality is, I am blown away by the sheer number of people I have in my life who genuinely love me and care about me… And, I do not say that lightly or flippantly.
I am amazed, and seriously touched by my friends.
I will say though, moving away serves as the best motivation for people to give great hugs!.. Such a win for a touch person! haha I love how many friends have genuinely hugged me, held on longer than normal or just beyond what I expected, and made a point of telling me they loved me and will miss me. Never can I adequately express how much those words and actions have soaked into my heart and found a permanent spot. I have also been humbled by the way several of my friends have gone out of their way to see me, spend extra time with me, or just swing by for a quick hello and hug. I am so blessed… So. so. so. Blessed.
I have gotten the impression from several people that they think I should just “know” how much those around me love and care for me. And, maybe I should; but, apparently I do not… I am not feigning ignorance, nor am I trying to deny anything…
I mean, let’s flip the scenario around for a second, can you point to every person in your life and accurately explain how much they care about you, love you, or how far they would go to let you know?.. Can you adequately explain just how much they will go out of their way to help you or show you how important you are to them?
Do not get me wrong, I can easily point to a lot of people and explain the relationship we have, but that does not mean I know exactly how far they will go for me, how inconvenienced they will choose to be, or how much I mean to them. I mean truly, I can very easily tell you how much that person means to me, how much I love them, care about them, and would do for them in a heartbeat… But, there are not many friends I would find myself able to articulate well their side of our friendship.. Not because I do not think they care about me, but just because I would be unsure of the accuracy of my description. Not to mention, because I am my own worst enemy, I know full well how much of a jerk I can be sometimes. I know the intimate thoughts and feelings that are really unsightly and should not be shared with others. Ultimately, I know my flaws, sins, and the things that make me a really frustrating, irritating, or obnoxious person to be around. So, from my own worst enemy perspective, it is hard to imagine how someone else could love me so much… Honestly, this whole thing is really bringing into full view how amazing it is that God does not only love me unconditionally despite myself, but how crazy it is that he puts other people around me who love me regardless of myself.
Seriously, I am so blessed. Stressed out about the next month of my life, and working to keep the emotions at bay and in check.. But, really I am feeling so blessed.
**But, not even kidding, I am working to keep these crazy emotions in check, and if you make me cry, I will likely high-five you to the face. Don’t do it! (kidding, sorta.. I won’t high-five you to the face… but seriously, don’t say or do anything to make me to cry.)