I have said it for years, life gets depressing the more you focus on yourself. I am not sure how God worked it out this way, but the more I focus on myself, the more depressed I get about the dumb little things.. Such as, my acne, the 3 lbs I wish was not a part of my stomach, the ever present exhaustion I feel in the mornings, the annoyance of not being able to snap crackle and pop everything back into place in the mornings, the hang nail that requires me to cut my long nails… See?!.. Dumb.
However, somehow (seriously it is like magic), the more I focus on those around me, their needs, their insecurities, their frustrations, their pains, hurts, or just the mundane details of their lives, the more I feel content inside and forget to care that I have split ends and need a hair trimming.
One of the things I love about my job is that I spend all day thinking, strategizing, praying, reading, and talking with other people. I spend all day trying to help others be better versions of themselves… I spend all day trying to encourage those around me… And, almost like magic, spending so much time purposefully paying attention to others causes me to forget to stop in front of the mirror to see if my outfit adequately hides the 3 lbs extra that I dislike about my midsection.
Last night I was talking with one of my roomies from DC, and I realized that I miss her like crazy. We could go a couple weeks without seeing each other while living together, but I always felt her supportive presence in my life. We were catching up on all the changes, new things going on, and the various things we each needed prayer over, and at that point I realized that not only is God amazing at the way He is working things out. Even though I do not have things together completely, He is somehow making things happen… and quickly. And, while from an outside perspective I have made friends, and met so many amazing, loving, and caring people that I am excited to get to know more, I have yet to make my group of friends that I can call just to hang out and eat frosting with (haha.. but no really.. everyone needs that friend.)
For as long as this lasts, I am excited that my job is cultivating a pattern that everything in my life is about other people.. I hope that I have started on an entirely new path for the rest of my life.. I love feeling like I am getting paid to live my life by loving Jesus and loving others… Seriously, sweet.