So, I try not to associate being the sole owner of my puppy on the same level of responsibility and work as having a baby or child.. I believe having children is WAY more difficult, and I have nothing but kudos to offer parents! Yet, even still, there are definitely things that having a 90lb puppy has taught me about being a parent.. or being a mom..

For starters.. Peeling your eyes open in the morning to instantly take care of a potty is never fun.. Especially before coffee, shower or going to the bathroom yourself… Worse yet, peeling your eyes open to instantly go outside into freezing weather so your puppy can decide to play instead of use the bathroom makes me see red… Yet, it’s hard to be mad when the face looks at you like this: 

Wherever you go.. THEY ARE RIGHT THERE.. usually close enough to trip over, slobber on you or snot on your pants, bump into your butt or sneeze on you. I am confident that never again will I get away with wearing the same pair of pants twice before washing them..

The floor is always a mess with toys.. and stepping on dog bones is I’m sure equal to stepping on a jumbo-lego.

Potty training sucks… And, cleaning up poop is never a highlight of my day.

Having a silver-merle puppy means no black clothes are safe from visible hair.. and neither are white clothes.. or really any color. Hair is always visible. And, I swear he has a radar for when I put on nice clothes just before I have to leave, and then makes it his mission to slobber on me before I can get him in his crate… Nooooo!!!.. The worst was when he attacked my long flowing dress. “NO! That is NOT a toy!”

Getting drooled on is part of the game… Every day.

Bath-time is a pain… and sometimes way more work than it’s worth.

Teaching him not to bite or pretend to bite is a lot of consistency… as is all discipline. If I’m not

consistent, he becomes Mr. Spaz Man, and it’s not pretty or fun.

Nap-time keeps me from killing him… As does his crate some days.

Stressful days are always made better by those precious eyes that just look at me lovingly all the time and wants to cuddle and lay on my lap…

I answer the same questions over and over and over and over…. and over.. He’s a he, a Silver Merle Great Dane, he’s 6 months, he’s 90 lbs, no he doesn’t really eat a stupid amount of food, yes he poops and pees more than your 10lbs dog, yes I live in an apartment…. His name’s Vormund, not norman, vermin, hammond or formin… No he isn’t allowed on the bed or couch.

I love sitting and having him just touch me however he can.. It melts my heart.

I get lots of people telling me how much I shouldn’t be using my “pinch collar”… Ok, you walk a 90lb puppy in high heels that gets distracted every 3 steps, and then talk to me about if it’s hurting him or the best idea…

No, I can confidently say that a chest harness on a 90lb puppy is never a good idea unless a sled is behind him… Which, let’s be honest, he would be afraid of anyway…

He has a nervous bladder.. and is actually afraid of most everything.. We do brave things every day trying to instill courage into the massive boy.. I am confident he will be normal when he’s an adult haha

Sometimes I get nervous taking him out with a lot of people simply because he’s so big and has no idea how much weight he puts behind his punch…

I was talking with a couple other Dane owners and realized people say the same things constantly, and sometimes as though you cannot hear them.. “He’s huge!” “That’s a horse” “Can I pet your horse?” “I could never own a dog that big” “Can you imagine feeding that thing?” “Do you have a saddle for that thing?” “You could ride him!” I find the comments amusing, especially when they act like I don’t hear them…

“Vormund, give it to me.. no.. don’t.. give it.. GIVE IT TO ME!..” or better yet, “What’s in your mouth?.. Spit it out!.. Let me see, what do you have?!” are games we play almost daily..

When he’s tired, overstimulated, and needs a nap he runs around like a crazy man getting into everything. Obnoxiousness is the cue for nap-time!

Coming home to his excited face makes coming home awesome.. Even if I instantly have to take him out to pee.

He has to get fed and get water before I can make food or he’ll stalk me while I am cooking..

While I simply cannot claim that having a huge puppy is the same as having a child, there are some days that it feels like it, and gives me nothing but more respect (and grace) for parents!

Did I mention potty training is exhausting and not my favorite?…

It will only get better/worse from here as he grows!