I Have No Idea…

Today I am a little shocked by where my heart is and where it has settled.

Day three of both my 21 day prayer challenge and my 40 day prayer challenge. – This doesn’t get easier either.

Last night, I went to bed asking God to show me what success looks like, send me a husband that together we bring Him more glory than we ever could apart, and then I asked for His help with my finances. Because I think all of these things are important moving forward. In His timing, and in God’s economy I will be able to do immeasurably more than I understand. Then, I woke up this morning, and asked God to teach me how to pray… and teach me what to pray for.

So, with those prayers uttered last night and this morning I am a little shocked at the indignation I feel towards the useless today. But, more than that, I am amazed at how broken my heart is for the blind.. Not the physically blind, but those who are unable to see the larger picture. I have no idea where these feelings came from because yesterday, last night, and this morning it wasn’t even on my mind.. and by “it”, I mean other people’s opinions, their perspectives, and I had no thought good or bad about where their focus is. Instead, I was focused on aligning myself with God’s heart…

And then, my focus of aligning with God’s heart has found me appalled at the lack of “whatever it takes” to save one more.

What sparked this? Katie.

I am not entirely sure what sparked my sudden indignation, but I was perusing Twitter, stumbled upon this blog post, and became obsessed with finding Katie’s blog, twitter, and learning about her heart. Her view of Jesus sat firmly on my heart as “this is right.” And, in the process I realized that lately my heart aches and desires a real authentic and difficult community that looks like much more like Katie’s life than currently own does… Sadly for me, I do no think it looks anything like me actually picking up and moving to Africa (yet), but instead it means staying right where I am, and creating the environment here that I yearn for.

Then it dawned on me, almost two months ago I began networking… And, really networking with other churches, organizations, and groups in the local and regional area. I know exactly what I am trying to do, and I have a visions for it… But, I have found it is taking a long time for everyone else to understand what I am doing, and even longer for them to buy in and join me. Some get it, others stare at me blankly, and some are just against what I am doing. Which, actually only fuels it more.

I have no idea yet what will come of the things I am feeling, working on, thinking and praying about; but, what I do know is that I am praying, hard for them to come to full fruition. And, I have complete faith in my Creator God that He will explode it to be bigger than I am actually capable of pulling off on my own. I also know without any doubt that God is on the move, and I intend on being and going where He does.

3 days down, 18 and 37 more to go on these prayer challenges. Should be exciting!

Where is God leading and moving in your life? What revelations is He showing you?… Are you following Him?

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