Apparently life in transition is becoming something of a way of life for me. As I look for jobs like it is my job (no really, in two and a half weeks I have applied for 34 and looked at hundreds more), I have realized how many times I have done this transition thing.
Each time I love it, and hate it.
I love the excitement.
I love the change.
I love the possibilities.
I love the hope.
I love knowing that I will one day look back on my life and know that it was full because I was willing to follow God anywhere at any time.
I love the adventure of transitions and change.
I love the new things I will get to experience.
I love the joy and faithfulness of God that I will get to experience because of the new transition.
I love that I undoubtably will get the opportunity to meet new and absolutely amazing people, and that they will forever be etched into my life.
I love that I will get to test one more time how well I can face and handle life’s challenges with grace.
I love stepping out of my comfort zone.
I do not however like packing my apartment.
I do not like painting my walls back to white (insane asylum white what?!)
I do not like leaving people who I love and cherish (thank you Jesus for technology and the ease of keeping in contact!).
I do not like spending hours every day looking for jobs… and perusing lame-o job postings.
I do not like the stress that comes with figuring out how to make it all work (apartment hunting.. AFTER I get the job.. and then getting myself to the new place).
I do not like stepping out of my comfort zone.
I think some people get the impression that because I basically have a degree in “fly by the seat of my pants” and actually enjoy the thrill and challenge of change that I do not also struggle with the challenges or fear that come with it as well.
I have a love/hate relationship with transitions and change.
However, I look back at my life, and I realize that my life has been constant transitions. Yet, every single change or transition I have had has only enhanced my life, it has never made it worse or even kept it the same. I love change because it means adventure, and I feel like it gives me the chance to learn and exercise things that I learn in the Bible more each time. I dislike change because it is hard, and sometimes incredibly painful and lonely… But, even still, I have never walked away regretting or wishing it did not happen.
No matter what is to come in this next transition, as always, I am not going to just pretend everything is ok, but, I will also hold confident that my God is a God of miracles, and a beautiful God of the trials… And, He will be with me every blessed moment and step.