I have been reflecting recently about how much I have felt as though there are people who have gotten to know me simply because they have an agenda. I feel often that they do not actually care to be my genuine friend, nor do they take the time to actually know or care about my heart.

That is a fun place to be.

In December, I posted and asked, “Will You Love Me When I’m Ugly?” and while so many said yes, and even had actions to support their claim, many people spoke with their actions in the negative.

I simply cannot feel safe or allow myself to truly be seen, flaws, insecurities and all if there are people around whose actions and words are clear: “I have ulterior motives.”

The most difficult ones are when the words are supportive and caring, while the actions are anything but.

There are lots of times that I choose to carry on ahead and pull these agenda ridden people into my life anyway. I genuinely working to love unconditionally in return because, after all, maybe I am misunderstanding them and their intentions too right? But, that does not remove the sting or pain of their lack of reciprocation.

Many times I have found myself in situations and with groups of people who I so very badly wanted to connect with. I wanted to be close friends with them; and then, repeatedly, I have felt as though it just was not for me to receive authentic friendship in return… Simply put, I was perpetually on the outside, but I was being used for any number of reasons.

So, as I take a moment to truly and humbly check my heart to see who in my life I use or have an agenda with my reason for getting to know them, I challenge you to do the same.

It is not love if you have an ulterior motive.
It is not love if you have conditions.
It is not love if you cannot forgive mistakes.

It is not love if your actions towards them are less than how you should be loved.

“Now it came about when he had finished speaking to Saul, that the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as himself.” – 1 Samuel 18:1

” Then Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself.” –1 Samuel 18:3

“Jonathan made David vow again because of his love for him, because he loved him as he loved his own life.” –1 Samuel 20:17

“…but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the Lord.” –Leviticus 19:18b

“Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” –Matthew 19:19

“This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’” –Matthew 22:38-39

“and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength.’ The second is this, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” –Mark 12:30-31

“And he (Jesus) answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor as yourself.” –Luke 10:27

“For this, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not steal, You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, it is summed up in this saying, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” –Romans 13:9

“For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” –Galatians 5:14

“If, however, you are fulfilling the royal law according to the Scripture, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself,” you are doing well.” –James 2:8