Life can be so hard sometimes with no real warning.
Maybe it is because I have been going through a bunch of “on this day a year ago, two years ago, three years ago…” moments over the last few months.
Maybe it is due to the crazy juxtaposition of life and death swirling around me as of late. All around me, people, relationships, jobs etc. have died and ended, and then in stark contrast there has also been new life, new jobs and relationships. Seeing and experiencing both sides so dramatically with those I love (and even myself) has been quite unique to say the least.
There have been moments as I walk (since I don’t have a car I pretty much walk everywhere), that I am overwhelmed with the weight of how hard and painful life is. So. Much. Pain. And so many prayers to accompany those feelings.
Then, there have been times that as I walk that I have found myself bursting with joy and excitement for new babies, relationships, accomplishments etc.. of those I love. So. Many. Prayers of thanksgiving for them.
The last few weeks I have been praying for clarity, and it seemed as though God had gone silent after speaking for me to grasp onto peace a couple of months ago. I sometimes forget how much we must fight for peace, or rather fight to release the grip of fear and allow ourselves to then claim peace. I recently got clarity, but it only came after I had finally told God some of the things I had been afraid to say. I finally told God my fears, and then told him I was going to leave it all up to Him… He answered me almost immediately.
In the midst of my fear, God was there proving Himself faithful once again.
Not long ago, I received an unexpected package from two people who are not only some of my favorites, but they have loved me deeply for most of my entire adult life. When I opened the package, it contained jewelry that spoke to a word that God had given me years ago… The gift was so unexpected and spot on that it actually knocked the wind out of me and I stuttered into tears.
Community matters, and God is so faithful.
People who know you, who love you, who pray for you, they matter… Community matters, and I have been realizing more and more lately just how much God shows His faithfulness through our community.
When I was going through one of the hardest seasons of my life, it was hands down the community both near and far that carried me through. They say, (whoever “they” is) that time heals all wounds, and that season had a lot of wounds in it to heal from. However, the further away from that time period I get, the more I remember the pain like scars, but the more vivid and grateful I become for the plethora of people who stood by me in literally every way possible. Through these people, God carried me and proved His faithfulness again.
Life is hard, life is painful, life is beautiful, life is full of joy, and when I stop to think about it, I find myself overwhelmed by the community of people God has put in my life. So much gratitude for how He loves me. I am slowly becoming increasingly more aware of why community is so important to my Savior.