Heaven

Wisdom and Foolishness

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.”
– James 1:5

“The foolishness of man ruins his way, and his heart rages against the Lord.”
– Proverbs 19:3

Since I was a child, literally 11 years old, I can remember praying for two things for and over myself: Wisdom and Understanding. – If that gives any insight into the type of child and person I am! haha I realize and love that I’m a bit of a weirdo haha

I remember, and continue to feel like if only I have more wisdom and understanding, then I can and will do better at life. I will handle situations better, I will see people differently, I can assess and respond to various things that I encounter more effectively, I can keep the best and most important things in perspective… But, ultimately, I can just love others well.

Occasionally, I will also swap into my prayer mix, clarity and knowledge for myself before the Lord.

The opposite side of wisdom is foolishness, so it is no surprise that I want to perpetually stay as far away from that as possible.
One of the big things I process and struggle through before making decisions is wanting as much information and perspective as I can get to ensure that I do not make a foolish decision. – I don’t want to ever look back and feel like I had been foolish, hasty, thoughtless, or stupid in my decisions or actions.

So, given the way the Lord and I are working through things lately, Foolishness was the theme a few days ago, and Wisdom was soon to follow… As in, the next day.

I was amazed to realize that when you look up “foolish” in scripture, and when you read through the passages one right after another; it is actually very clear about who is considered foolish and what is considered foolish! And then, because God has a sense of humor, there’s one section of verses that throw a little wrench into what man considers wise vs foolish and what God does. (1 Corinthians 1:18-31)

Just so we are all on the same page, other descriptors of foolishness are: thoughtless, senseless, stupid, mindless, unwise or incautious actions… The level with which I do not want to be or ever be described as these things is intense within me.

So, I began to dig deeper in scripture to get a handle on what it means, and compare myself authentically to see if I am foolish.

Here are some of the things I learned reading through the 88 passages that talk about foolishness in scripture:
Those who are foolish don’t even try to understand or seek wise counsel.
Foolish people are quick-tempered.
The Foolish have eyes but do not see, ears but do not year, and they do not honor or give thanks to God even though they know him.
Foolish people speculate futilely knowing it will lead to arguments and strife.
The foolish seek riches, fame.
Foolish people, who do not believe and follow Christ are actually enslaved to their evil thoughts, coveting, deceit, sensuality, adulteries, envy, slander, and pride… They are even described as having qualities that are evil and proceed from within them.
Foolishness is something that comes from within, it produces actions that harm ourselves or others, and entirely disregard the Lord.
Foolish people operate in pride and don’t even attempt to see or care about what is right, nor do they give thanks to the Lord and honor him in any way.

But also, interestingly enough, believers and followers of Christ are described as righteous, and that they previously were foolish but are no more…

However, I find it interesting that Paul won’t let believers sidestep people who are foolish. We must seek after them with love too. He says that we are actually under obligation to both Greeks and barbarians, to the wise and foolish. We must love and follow hard after our Lord making disciples of all people and all nations.

(You can read more about where I’m getting this information from here.)

One of my favorite things about the really hard, and honestly exhausting season that the Lord and I are currently in together right now is that I spend all day every day mulling and praying through things that He is teaching me. I feel as though in my head, in conversations, in my prayers, and journaling, in my seeking, in my rising and laying down I am working out my salvation with the God of the Universe. That, while He has already saved me, He is taking this season, and making me new. On a foundational level we are re-evaluating things and removing lies and insecurities, and also replacing and building new hope and faith in the process. – It is draining in every possible sense of the word, but it is intensely good and rich.

I feel like daily I am consumed by this season. I spend every spare moment reading and digging deeper. Exhausting.

As I get my Theme’s of the day and begin to dig deeper and try to wrap my mind around them, I have realized there are a lot of thoughts and assumptions that I have that are not actually described in scripture… or better yet, other things that are incredibly clearly defined that I was totally ignorant of!

There was so much internal sigh of relief when I realized that while I certainly have plenty of foolish moments and have done foolish things, *I* am not foolish by any stretch of the imagination.

This whole internal process of mulling and praying my way through this topic was sparked because I have been trying to figure out whether it is considered foolish to hope and pray for things that are more just “wishful thinking” when I do not know if it falls within the will of God.

My everyday struggle is that, I want intensely to do things well in the eyes of the Lord. I want to follow the Lord, and pursue Him with everything I am. I desire for my prayers and actions to be in alignment with him.

So, what did I find out as I dug deeper into wisdom and foolishness?

No, it is not foolish in the slightest to hope and pray for things that we don’t know whether they are or aren’t in the will of God… There is actually nowhere in scripture that foolishness even comes close to touching praying and hoping for things in the Lord. – Instead, it is actually the opposite, wisdom and understanding slide up right next to hoping and praying for things we want. It honors God when we go to Him, foolish people do not give Him honor, nor do they care about the things of His kingdom.

Throughout scripture, wisdom and understanding are intimately acquainted with every type of communication between us and the Lord.

In fact, the more we press in, the more we seek and ask for wisdom, the more we are actually changed by the Spirit. We find ourselves in alignment with Him as part of the process, and even if we don’t get what we want, we are content and continue to hope and build our faith throughout the journey.

“Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom… But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy.”
– James 3:13 & 17

I do not know that I’ll every consider myself “wise” but, the more I learn about wisdom, the more I want to pursue it and also just find it fascinating. I seek the Spirit of Wisdom that is talked about throughout scripture. I want the blessings that come with having knowledge and understanding that is only given from the Creator of the Universe.

I also find it interesting that wisdom is given a gender, and that gender is female.
I also find it interesting that wisdom is ranked above coral, crystal, silver, gold, and any other riches or desirable things cannot compare.

Also, I very much am drawn to the fact that the righteous utter wisdom and their tongue speaks justice.

If your mouth speaks wisdom, then the meditations of your heart will be understanding.

Fearing the Lord is the start of wisdom, and it is pleasant to the soul within you.

Did you know that in scripture, wisdom is better than weapons of war?

And, just when I didn’t think it could get any better, the wise make the most of every day and every opportunity, especially with people who are not believers of who Christ is.

So, what is the biggest key marker between wisdom and foolishness? One seeks the Lord, the other does not care in the slightest.

My loves, be wise in all that you do.

It’s Not About Me…

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Lately I have been doing a lot of praying, reading, watching videos, thinking, and talking with various people about what God is doing in my life… But, specifically related to who I am because of Him, and just how big He is to me.

I truly want to gain a greater understanding of just how big He is, and how capable He is

of solving my problems… And then, I want to take it a step further and comprehend just how much He cares about my problems.

But, that actually isn’t enough for me either.

You see, the “older I get” (makes me sound 65), the more I am settling on the solid belief that my life just isn’t about me. And, while I obviously have selfishness, and I struggle with pride, and a slew of other sins, I want desperately to hear the words “Well done good and faithful servant” when I die and go to heaven.

I heard a quote by Curry Blake this week that sums up my basic feelings: “Christianity was about you until you got saved, then it quit being about you and became about those that aren’t saved.”

This thought process began invading a lot of areas of my thinking and I sort of began mulling over what that looks like in my life currently, and what it would look like in the future.Simply put, Christ loved you unconditionally, now you have to go love others unconditionally.

One of the things I settled on is that if I even get married, I really do not want the day to be “all about me” … because let’s all be honest here, at this point if I get married, it will CLEARLY be all because of what God did, is doing, and plans on doing in my life and the life of my husband. I want the wedding, and obviously the marriage to reflect those things.

The next thing I realized is that while I have these wonderful reminders of prayer cards that are full of people and situations to pray for, I tend to pray much closer to the “ask and

beg” side of prayers many times.. instead of praying scripture and standing on scripture. God made us promises for a reason, He literally cannot break those promises.

I also have had the wonderful opportunity over the last few weeks to spend time on the phone, Skyping, FaceTiming, and Google Hangout-ing with so many friends that are literally all over. I have stayed up late, woken up crazy early, and re-arranged schedules in order to get the chance to re-connect with these friends. Or in once instance, it was a random call that ended up allowing us to restore what was lost due to missteps and sin on both of our parts. And, it has been exactly perfect each time. I sometimes forget how much I miss people until I see their face or hear their voice, and then I am reminded why they have such special places in my heart, or I am reminded of how much they taught me in the time that I was able to connect with them in the first place.

These conversations have reminded me with utter clarity, just how much God uses people to speak life and love into us.

The last month has found a lot of things stretching me… Such as singing… in front of people… with a mic in front of my face. I love singing, I enjoy so very much getting to spend the time with the group of people leading one of our services.. And, it has turned into a really fun time with my sister-in-law as well. But, I am worse than not at all confident in my ability to sing well. The most profound thing that has been said to me from the leader was, he wasn’t looking for me to be the best singer, he was looking for me to be the best worshipper. Which, actually changes things quite a bit, especially when it comes to singing worship music. Whether I am up front singing worship songs to my sweet Savior or whether I am singing worship songs standing in my kitchen… It is not about me, it is about rightfully adoring who He is without expecting anything in return for my worship.

When I read the Bible and soak in the Truths that are permeating throughout the entire thing, the only thing I am left with is that I simply cannot look at the history and the way God has moved people and done things and assume it is because of me. Yet, through some crazy, only God could actually pull it off, He’s asking me to step in and be a part of His plan because He loves me more than I understand. But, in order for that to work, I have to constantly work at handing over my selfishness and pride so that Jesus can then use me however He sees fit to express His love of Truth to others.

It just simply isn’t about me, it is about the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Rock Climbing To Heaven…

So, last night a group of my friends, my little brother, and myself all went on a night hike. You hike about a mile, then cut across to these massive rocks/mini boulders, and climb about 3/5 of a mile (which seems like a ridiculous amount more when you’re climbing instead of hiking). But, we split the 10 of us up into 4 groups because we only had 4 headlamps… Although, we discovered fairly quickly that it was actually easier without the light to cause dramatic shadows. We pretty much paired up according to desire to be adventurous in the climbing (the three super-athlete boys), height (the tall girls and the nugget girls ;), and then the height similar-boys.

My climbing partner and I decided fairly early on to operate with the light off… and it was one of the coolest things we could have done. While we were climbing we realized all of the similarities between what we were doing and our relationship with God… So, I thought I’d share with you a bit about our revelation…

As we were climbing, it became apparent very quickly you had to focus on what you were doing right now, watch your feet, look at the next step, hand hold etc..etc.. “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Because it was dark, it was a whole lot harder to see what was coming… Obviously only God knows our futures.

When we would look down where we came, each time our response was “whoa!.. Look how far we’ve come!” And, then we would look up and go “dang, look how far we have to go!”… And then, you would actually focus on your goal and what we saw was breathtaking!… The Milkyway was bright and beautiful, and outshines the black silhouettes of the rocks we were climbing.. The majesty and the sheer size of what our goal was, was truly breathtaking! Even when we couldn’t see everything, the mere shadows of what we were seeing we breathtaking, and every time we stopped to look around and take it all in we just kept saying “this is AMAZING!”

As we were climbing we started breathing harder and harder, and at points would just stop and converse about not being sure about making it the rest of the way.. PLUS back down.. and then we’d see how short it was to the top.. and lets be honest, you can’t quit so close to the end!.. So, we would get re-energized and start once again… Only to not too long later have to encourage each other once again that we can make it and it is not as far or hard as it seems…

On our way back down it was ridiculously slow moving for us because we were tired, our leg muscles were fatigued, and our knees were unstable, our shoulders were getting more work than we realized on the way up… and lets be honest.. it’s a mile in a half of climbing!… In the dark!

We had an absolute blast.. worked and sweated in gross amounts.. but it was worth it and the memories are so fun from it! I’d do it all over, scrapes and bruises and all…

The place we went hiking is called Devil’s Marbleyard… And yet our goal was to reach the Heavens… Ironic when you think of it 🙂

An Agnostic’s Words

Today I had a conversation with a friend from high school. We met my first day, and he was pretty clearly gothic (before there was emo) and while he was nice, he was and still is agnostic. I used to joke with him that I was friends with him so that if he ever decided to shoot up the school he wouldn’t kill me…:) Obviously that’s not true, but it gives you an idea of the more relaxed nature of our friendship. I constantly invited him to youth group, and to my surprise he came.. several times!
Then I graduated high school, went to college, graduated, moved home, then moved to VA.. and didn’t hear from him at all. A couple months ago he found me on Facebook and we’ve chatted a few times, he’s made clear several times that he is still not Christian, and he is is perfectly fine being agnostic.. But, he keeps asking me questions.

Today out of the blue he asked me “so, do you think I am going to hell?” I was completely stunned at his bluntness, but I can’t pretend half of what I believe doesn’t apply so “yes, sorry.” But, amazingly it lead into a great conversation and I was able to explain how Christians can be some of the MEANEST people you will ever meet, and sometimes even I as a Christian desire to run them over with my car… He said he could never be a Christian because he drinks, smokes, and swears sometimes… I just laughed and explained that it’s not my job to police his life.. I am called to show him love. Once I said that he instantly went into how I am the most loving person he has ever known, and I am the reason he doesn’t do drugs anymore…

I was shocked.

When I asked why, and pointed out I haven’t talked to him in a long time, or done anything special. He responded with the fact that when he was getting pretty heavy into drugs at one point he began to think about times in his life when he was happy. He said the only time he could think of when he felt cared about and loved was in high school when we would talk or hang out at church. He explained how I am the only person that makes him believe there is a chance Jesus is real, and he appreciates the fact that I’m completely honest, but not screaming at him to know Jesus. We continued to talk and I explained my view on what Jesus has called me to do.. and even though he is screaming in Jesus’ face that he isn’t His, I am still called to love him and help him when I can. I told him that I am thankful every day that I do not have the job of judging others and their sins.

We talked about gays, and the hatred many Christians express towards them (which makes my heart hurt), we talked about drinking, smoking, swearing, and why I feel my job is to love only. Then he asked if he believed in Jesus would he still go to hell for drinking and smoking and stuff… and much to his amazement I said no, it would mean he has sin in his life like I do. I explained that whether I kick puppies or feed hungry children in Africa neither means I get to Heaven or go to hell… and there is a certain amount of freedom in knowing that my “goodness” is not based on me at all but Jesus. It was a great conversation, and I am so thankful that my parents have always pushed getting to know people for who they are, and for hammering into me that people are what is important.

Can I just say how humbling and completely scary it is to have an agnostic say these things about me.

Oh my sweet Jesus you need to take this one, please speak to his heart. I want him to know you, to feel what I feel. To experience what it means to love you and accept your love. I don’t even know where to go with it, and I don’t want to say something stupid and mess it up. Please touch his heart.