Thursday Thoughts…

Thursday thoughts…

Brooke Fraser and Shawn McDonald are my two favorite artists.

We found our 4th and 5th roomies, and the great roomie swap begins this weekend…

As much as I would like to “love” Halloween.. I do not really care all that much for it. I enjoy dressing up (although in reality I’ve worn the same outfit every year since my dad bought me a BEAUTIFUL blue kimono dress that I love), I enjoy hanging out, and let’s be honest.. I love anything that gives a reason to be festive and hang out with people… But, I am not the biggest fan of all the “other stuff” that typically comes with Halloween… So, while I have been invited to various parties, I am planning on avoiding them all.

I am buying my first piece of real furniture this week…  a table and chairs. Mainly because ours will be leaving with the roomies moving out. So, I have decided that I might as well buy a set I will love for a very long time.. which means the tall counter-height table and chairs!… Although, one of my friends aptly pointed out that I “probably” should have bought a bed since I am still sleeping on an over-sized air mattress (3 years now..).

I am interested to see what the next year holds…

I am running a 10k on Sunday.. and I am unsure I can even run a 5k currently, should be interesting.

I have yet to decide or figure out what my plans for Thanksgiving are.. I had been hoping all year to be in Africa, God had other plans so, I guess now I will get a chance to see what those were.

The leaves are turning colors again, which is beautiful, but means cold weather is coming… I’m not the biggest fan of that…

I realized last weekend how different several relationships are in my life now than they were a year ago… A couple people I now view as having very prominent place had yet to even enter into my life. Another friend was a part of my group of friends where I used to live, we have known each other for years, but were never really close in a one on one friendship… However, she has become one of the few people who just get me.. I am so incredibly thankful for her, and amazed at how different of a friendship we have than I would have ever guessed before. She amazes me with how wise, thoughtful, funny, and genuine she is.. not to mention she seeks out the friendship just as much as I do, so there is always just this level of comfort when we hang out that I have with very… very few people here in DC… A part of me is sad I had not discovered this about her and the potential for our friendship three years ago when we first met. I am always amazed at how very different we are, but completely thankful that our friendship has become a totally unique thing all on its own, and taken a very welcome place in my life.

I have really become aware in the last few weeks how totally and utterly blessed I am.

I was musing to myself while driving earlier this week at how weird it is to feel contentment in my soul again. It feels like a foreign feeling.. a very welcome foreign feeling though. It is almost like the first warm sunshine on your skin after a particularly treacherous and cold winter… I cannot pinpoint  where it has come from, and a part of me has had the (very stupid) feeling that if I dwell on it too much it will disappear again… Yet, I know that is a totally and utterly ridiculous thought (but very human of me still). I am amazed though at how constant it is, even with the continued (and rather awful) situations at work that always threaten my mood.. It has been very carefully protected and shielded from trivial things; and for that I am so thankful! There is a small part of me that does not want to do or try anything new in fear of causing the contentment to disappear again, but, at the very same time.. I feel like it has caused me to re-awaken the dreams and desires I have of life in general… Which means that soon God will be shaking things up again, and I will gladly take His hand and walk where He asks me to.. Only God could create something at your core that causes feelings that seem so polar opposites.

My dad has recently joined Facebook, and I love how easy it is to tell him how much I love him or let him know how frequently he comes to mind… I am so incredibly thankful for Facebook, e-mail, and skype for making the hundreds of miles not feel like anything at all.

Faithful…

I have been a Shawn McDonald fan since the beginning.. He is easily one of my favorite artists. This song struck me on my drive to work this morning, it just seems so fitting right now, so I thought I would share…

I Forget All the Time…

These songs are how I’m feeling today after what feels like just more crap and stress then I should have to deal with in any single day… One was sent to me by a friend.. the other I found this weekend and just keep playing over and over.

After I heard this song, and was informed that this is mine and my friends song.. I was like “That is SO TRUE!” .. This is the stuff that drives me crazy.. and I forget how much I’m blessed.
Then I’m reminded how really all I want is to be closer to Jesus… Even when things get in the way and I can’t figure out why, all I really want is more of Jesus and to be closer to Him…
 
 I am thankful.. I just forget sometimes. Praise the Lord for amazing artists who help me remember.

My Words in Lyrics…

So, I can’t find the words to express how I’m feeling.. so here is what I’m feeling and thinking in a list of lyrics.. (ps I LOVE that music does this πŸ™‚

” Will You touch my eyes so I can see
Will You touch my ears so I can hear
Will You touch my mind so I can know
Will You touch my heart so I can love You more
Won’t You open me” – Open Me

” I need You like a hurricane
Thunder crashing, wind and rain
To tear my walls down
I’m only Yours now
I need you like a burning flame
A wild fire untamed
To burn these walls down
I’m only Yours now ” – Hurricane

” Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like you have loved me
Break my heart from what breaks yours
Everything I am for your kingdoms cause
As I go from nothing to Eternity” – Hosanna

This is my prayer in the desert
And all that’s within me feels dry
This is my prayer in the hunger in me
My God is a God who provides” – Desert Song

“Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it’s easier to stay
but I’ve heard rumors of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way
when the world has fallen out from under me
I’ll be found in you, ” –Shadowfeet

“Won’t You make me new, won’t You make me true
Jesus, won’t You make me like You,” – Open Me

” Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna in the highest” – Hosanna

And this is my prayer in the fire
In weakness or trial or pain
There is a faith proved
Of more worth than gold
So refine me Lord through the flames” – Desert Song

“But I’m going to try, going to try to fly, going to fly high
Don’t want to give into the sin, want to stay in You β€˜til the end
Don’t want to lose my sight of You” – Gravity

And I’m not going to question, why You’re so faithful
Why that You give me the blessing that You have
Let the glory be known, let the glory be shown” – All I Need

This is my prayer in the harvest
When favor and providence flow
I know I’m filled to be empited again
The seed I’ve recieved I will sow” – Desert Song

Hmm.. Interesting flow if you read it at one continuous thought.. πŸ™‚

I haven’t been sleeping well for about a week now.. I don’t think I’ve reach REM sleep at all any of the times I’ve attempted sleeping… more like that stage where you’re sleeping.. but conscious enough to be thinking and aware that time is passing… So, the question is why? I can’t say anything in particular is on my mind…

Things I’m Excited About…

So, I thought it makes sense to explain things I’m excited about for this year..

I’m turning 24.. WEIRD!.. haha

I’m excited to see what God has in store for me THIS year.. since each year seems to be getting crazier and “further out there” πŸ™‚ I mean, I think back and 2008 was INSANE.. I made 2 major moves and 1 minor one, lived in 3 states (dang it for taxes.. man is that gonna be a pain!), and where I thought I was gonna be now a year ago, isn’t even close.. whoa, I love how God’s plan moves πŸ™‚

I’m excited to get my finances stable for the first time (that counts) in my life! I finally feel like I’m at a place where I’m not two steps behind my bills… Between the basic bills and the random ones I wasn’t expecting, I was feeling like I was barely floating.. But I realized a couple days ago how much headway I’m making on my bills and it was exciting! πŸ™‚

I’m excited to read through the Bible this year (for the first time EVER).. Although, I’m gonna struggle with the “begot” section lol (Thanks to Phil I found a cool place to do that Here, and I have asked a couple friends to do it with me so I can do my normal “I wonder why…” πŸ™‚ And.. haha my poor dad gets to serve as my reference book (hey, if you had a Greek reference that can explain everything around and involving questions.. and to top it all off the reference loves you.. You’d use it too! πŸ˜‰

I’m excited to have new adventures I haven’t even thought of yet!.. woohoo!

I am excited about the fact that I feel like I have something to aim for.. I mean more than the basics of “Love Jesus, Love others.” But, more along the lines of what Jesus wants from me.. I feel like my puzzle has enough pieces that I can begin to see my picture.. It’s exciting! πŸ™‚

I’m excited that I have the chance to bring missions trips to my work.. and I have co-workers just as excited about it as I am! πŸ™‚ Now we just have to get the board and our donors on with the mission and goals we have! πŸ™‚

I can’t wait to see how my relationships with my kids develop and grow.. I hope I get the chance to make a good difference in their life! I love talking and interacting with them.. they are truly special and precious, and I take such delight in talking with them and getting to know them πŸ™‚

I’m excited that I will get the chance to travel some this year! (Around the country, and hopefully outside the country once or twice! πŸ˜‰

I’m excited that I have a place that is “mine” where I don’t feel like I will be moving soon or that what I’m doing is just the temporary hold over until “my real life begins”… I mean I want to be itinerant (a word that’s been stuck in my head for a while now..), but for this particular time I am excited that I have a base place to start and call mine.

I am excited because I have an amazing group of friends, here where I live, back home, from school (aka all over the country now). And they are so good to me, and truly push me and help me grow…They make me laugh, and encourage me, crack my back, make fun of my cracking/sick voice, listen to me as I vent, listen and offer feedback as I weed through the muddled thoughts about whatever, and just love me.. I hope I can do the same for them πŸ™‚ I want to show Jesus more like they do πŸ™‚

I am excited cause for the first time in a long time I don’t feel like I’m “missing out” because I’m single… instead I see it as this incredible blessing that will last for a while.. I don’t know how long, and I’m ok with that cause, I like what I can do now. I’ll be able to use it to bless and help others, and experience things I wouldn’t be able to if I were trying to also focus on another person’s needs. I finally feel like it’s not a “that is better than this,” but more “this is a fantastic adventurous time… and that will be totally different and awesome too… when it’s right.”

How exciting this year will be. A challenge, rough, fun, exciting, a time to change and be completely different.. but mostly just exciting cause I’ll be growing. πŸ™‚

I’ve also included “Open Me” by Shawn McDonald.. This song is currently my voice for what I’m talking to God about πŸ™‚ And, again in case anyone has forgotten.. he is my favorite artist.. SO talented, and somehow creates songs that I feel would be what my heart would create if it could πŸ™‚

Captivated

So, currently I’m listening to Captivated by Shawn McDonald.. I love this song. The sound of the song itself is fun, light, and a slightly different pace than most songs.. but then there are the lyrics which are so descriptive.. try imagining each of these things.. it’s a very vivid picture.

When I look into the mountains I see Your face
When I look into the night sky it sparkles Your Name

The wind in the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high
That’s what draws me to You

I am
I’m captivated by You
(You know that You do)
I am

I’m captivated

When I wake unto the morning it gives me your sights
When I look across the ocean it echoes Your might

The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea
The air in my lungs and the way You made me

That’s what draws me to You
The wind in the clouds and the blue in the sky
The sun and the moon and the stars so high

The sand on the shore and the waves in the sea

The air in my lungs and the way You made me
The blood in my veins and my heart You invade

The plants how they grow and the trees and the shade
The way that I feel and the Love in my soul

I thank you my God for letting me know