Healthy

Health Progress…

As much as it is not fun sharing the portions of your life that you are less than happy with (for numerous reasons), I think it is crucially important for people to see your journey.

A year and a half ago, I was the most I had ever weighed at 190lbs. At the time, lots of people told me it was ok because I am 5’10 I ‘looked fine’ and carried the weight well.

I was super unhappy with these comments, and disliked that they did not reflect good health. I also knew I had put on 15lbs in six months.. Which is not ok for your health, and I was incredibly unhappy with how I looked, felt, and my clothes (didn’t) fit.

I felt weak, I was dislocating joints often, and was pretty aware that it would get worse if I did not return to my attention to my health.

So, I started with eating better (more veggies and meat, less carbs and sugars) and drinking more water. After about a year of just those two changes I had lost almost 20lbs, but I still felt weak, and I was still dislocating often (it’s a thing with me).

Eight months ago I went back to the gym… early… It was (and continues to be miserable) because I am certainly no morning person (just ask my roommates), but I knew that if I did not go before work, I would more often than not find excuses for not going to the gym after work.

(HUGE shout out to the friend who has called me every morning to wake me up since I am a child and cannot get up early on my own! #nightowlproblems)

So, it has now been eight months of before-work gym time, typically ranging anywhere from 1-4 times a week. In that time, I have lost another almost 15lbs of fat, and put back on almost 10lbs of muscle.

Putting me down a little over 30lbs of fat and up about 10lbs of muscle.

Let me just be real for a bit..
It is hard work.
It is sucky emotionally some days.

The sheer number of hours I have spent in the gym, meal prepping well (and sometimes totally failing at everything) is somewhat astounding…

However, I am SO much happier with how I look, how I feel, and how my clothes fit. And, while I am still not where I want to be, I felt like sometimes it is important to share the story and progress, even if it is incremental and not completed yet.

Below are some of my comparison pictures, and because I hate fake progress pictures, tried as much as I could to:

  1. Wear the same outfit,
  2. Have the same(ish) lighting,
  3. Same angle and poses,
  4. Same size/distance from the camera etc…

    Although, the newer image is reversed (able to be seen by my tattoo..Can’t get it all right I suppose haha).
    I also can assure you, I am not purposefully standing differently or sucking in or pushing out my gut.

Health.Compare1
Health.Compare2

 

 

 

 

 

 

Hope you are encouraged.

 

Overwhelming and Overflowing..

Sometimes life is overwhelming.

Sometimes life is overflowing.

Such little differences in the word, I mean, they could almost be interchangeable. In order to overflow, it has to overwhelm.. but I think the emphasis has more to do with which action is the focus.

Lately, I have felt like life is overwhelming. As if, I am trying as hard as I can every day to keep up, tread water, make an impact… whatever it is, but despite my best efforts there is no overcoming it all.

I want my life to be overflowing. So that, no matter what I do or how hard I try, it is from the abundance of grace I have that is spilling out all over the place. Going before me and following after me.

Not long ago, I went to the doctor because I was fairly confident there was something wrong with me. I was perpetually fatigued, yet I had insomnia. I never felt good, like there was just something off. My throat hurt all the time, and I was tense, as in my muscles couldn’t completely let go. Then, one night while taking a hot bath, I had a full-blown anxiety attack. I couldn’t get my heart rate to come down, I was struggling breathing.. and all while candles were lit, soft music played, and I attempted to sooth my aching muscles in hot water.

Surely something was wrong.

I went through a few tests and some blood work to find out that I am in fact surprisingly healthy. So much so, that my doctor was quite pleased with my workout routine, my eating habits, the supplements I take, how much water I drink daily… Literally everything was perfect.

So what the heck?

Tension.

All of my symptoms now pointed to tension, which was a possibility even before he ran the blood work, but he wanted to make sure no chemicals were interfering.

Now what?

I’m the picture of healthy at 30.

I spent some time trying to figure out what else I could do to make it better… How do I make MORE time? I was already burning the candle from both ends in my attempt to fit everything in.

Jesus time.

I deduced I have been woefully negligent in carving out space for my Jesus time. As in, the I will sit here, and we will spend quality time together, talking, listening, learning.. being together. Like you would a best friend. Yet somehow I had forgotten to do this… for months on end… much longer if I’m being entirely honest.

So, slowly, I am beginning to force myself, regardless of the time of day or night to spend some quality time with my Savior, with my Abba. I need Him more than I need the bombardment of distractions I encounter every day.

And, little by little, the throat feels better, the percentage on my sleep app is inching upwards, and I realized that the action has changed. I am beginning to no longer drown in the overwhelming and instead, I am inching towards living in the overflow.

Journey Towards Health

So, I turned 30 a couple of weeks ago, and since my birthday falls so closely to the beginning of the year, I tend to take on both the year and my goals combined as though they are one.

So, this year, I have a plethora of goals and things I would like to accomplish, but, more than previous years, I am creating this year as a course correction of sorts for the future.

I have begun to budget meticulously, so that I can pay off large chunks of debt this year… Plus I am excited to take a class through work that will help me be successful even more.

Through a friend and co-worker I’ve discovered MindMeister.com and am mind mapping goals for this year… All of them, big and small.

I have finally stepped out and contacted a cousin for guidance on my diet and exercise… I also bought new shoes (cause my others were broken a long time ago).. and I will be joining a gym this week.

I have also started reading my Bible and actually studying it.. not just reading it for informational purposes.. Or worse, to get my time “in” with God in order to move on, but, instead genuinely to focus and spend time with Him to grow and be cultivated.

 

I feel like it is time to pull myself together on multiple fronts at the same time. Up until now, I have slowly been learning to budget, and slowly monitoring and focusing on my health. However, I have also sort of just done it in a bit of a loosey goosey kinda way.

Already, six(ish) weeks into 2015 and a few weeks into 30, I am beginning to feel better. More stabilized and balanced with significantly less worry in my heart on multiple levels. Some days still being full of worry and stress, others not at all, and then the rough back and forth between stress and peace.

I think when I stop and look at the things that are causing me the most stress, it almost always boils back to finances. I find myself every so often begin to spiral into worry with questions like:
Should I spend the $20 a month on a gym membership or apply that to debt?
Should I budget for going out or put that into savings?
Should I put money into cheaper foods to save, or spend more on the healthier foods I love?

Then, a few weeks ago it dawned on me… I didn’t get myself into debt quickly, so I must give myself the space to live well (meaning healthy, not in abundance) in order to create joy and refreshing that can counteract the stress and worry for the long haul of paying off debt. Especially since, the primary debt I have is educational.. And the rest is mostly a carry over from being unemployed for so long.

I have been intensely purposeful lately about letting go of my anxieties and relaxing the stress that I have been holding onto every day.

You see, my theme for this year is health… I haven’t been able to come up with a good rhyming hashtag since “thirtyflirtyandthriving” just doesn’t quite hit the mark for this year. But, thirty really does seems like a great year to gain my health back on every front in order to move forward in a new decade!

Sweet, sweet health. I am so looking forward to walking in your direction consistently this year, and creating healthy habits moving forward. Physical, emotional, and spiritual health, those are the things I am aiming towards this year.