The Bible

Accused of Thinking…

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I have been processing through so many comments I have heard or read on social media over the last couple months spanning almost every topic you could imagine.

People assuming the thoughts and intentions of myself (or others) and making grandiose statements of what the reasoning is behind it, and substituted truth for what they have decided must be facts.

“You think ____.”

“Obama/Trump/Hillary thinks ______.”

“Refugee’s think _____.”

“Women/Blacks/Whites/Rich/Poor blah blah blah, all think ____.”

Stop. It.

You have no idea what anyone is thinking, you are not in their head, you do not have to make the choices they do, and you do not have all of the information. Not to mention, it is poor form and terrible logic to try to create a false process for someone else’s actions.

Stop telling me what I think and what my motivation was for something.

Because at best, your thought process is what you would have done in my shoes, with your background and with the limited information you have. And, at worst, it is the classic case, “when you assume, you make an @$$ out of U and Me…..” mantra.

But, just so we are clear, the opposite side of this coin is that, if you are making assumptions and judging me or others based on what you have decided we/they/someone is thinking, then you are likely also judging yourself based off intentions alone. Oranges and Apples.

What’s the solution to this flawed way of operating?

Ask. Questions.

“Why did you do ___? What was your thought process behind ____?”

Learn. Gain perspective, play devils advocate to your own views, set aside your desire to be right. Just because you disagree with your limited knowledge, does not automatically make them wrong.

Be humble.

You do not have it all figured out, and there are likely hundreds of reasons behind someone’s decision. Making an assumption of what anyone must have been thinking is going to create a wider gap between you and everyone… Not to mention lower the respect others have for you.

It is possible to disagree and be kind about it.
It is possible to hate the decision, but understand the process.
It is possible to learn from those we don’t like.

We do not have to be a people or culture of throwing the baby out with the bath water.

We absolutely can be a humble people, with the intention to learn, gain wisdom, and perspective and still disagree.

Sometimes all that matters is that we understand the why behind something, and it changes our whole view of the situation.

Step aside from your arrogance, take a humble posture of learning, ask questions, listen, seek wisdom and understanding before elevating your own voice and opinion.

Stop seeking for others to see and hear you first, and instead choose words and language that invite others into a safe place of learning and discussion.

Iron sharpens iron… But, only when both are equally willing to be sharpened. It falls apart when only one takes the perspective of learning and humbling themselves enough to be willing to be wrong.

There are differently blessings in life for those who humble themselves, and sometimes blessings for others because of our own humility.

Just to share a small portion of the scriptural basis for my perspective:

“Because your heart was tender and you humbled yourself before God when you heard His words against this place and against its inhabitants, and because you humbled yourself before Me, tore your clothes and wept before Me, I truly have heard you,” declares the Lord.” – 2 Chronicles 34:27

“He leads the humble in justice, And He teaches the humble His way.” – Psalm 25:9

“When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom.” – Proverbs 11:2

“Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:29

“Whoever then humbles himself as this child, he is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” – Matthew 18:4

“Whoever exalts himself shall be humbled; and whoever humbles himself shall be exalted.” – Matthew 23:12

“He has brought down rulers from their thrones, And has exalted those who were humble.” – Luke 1:52

“Or do you think that the Scripture speaks to no purpose: ‘He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us’? But He gives a greater grace. Therefore it says, ‘God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.’ Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” – James 4:5-7

“To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or insult for insult, but giving a blessing instead; for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.” – 1 Peter 3:8-9

Read more here.

There are two things I pray for almost every single day, and have for as long as I can remember:

Wisdom:

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” – James 1:5

and Understanding:

“So give Your servant an understanding heart to judge Your people to discern between good and evil. For who is able to judge this great people of Yours? It was pleasing in the sight of the Lord that Solomon had asked this thing.” – 1 King 3:9-10

So, stop assuming the thoughts and intentions of others. Ask them, learn from them, be respectful, and learn to use your words better.

What is it you ask God to bless you with every day?

What could you do to make your communication better?

 

First Impressions

My official job title is First Impressions Director for NCC. I love my job, it is challenging in a plethora of ways, but it also feeds into my strengths and passions and allows me to create space to learn more about people and how to reach them better; and then teach that to others.

The number one question I get asked is “What is a First Impressions Director?” – The  simplest way to explain it is: Anything that would be your first impression when you go to church; all of that falls under my responsibilities in one way or another. Meaning, it includes Hospitality, Connections, safety, setup and tear down, lobby, signage and of course coordinating volunteers that make all of these things possible… “and other duties as assigned” haha

Thankfully my more than a decades worth of marketing background lends itself quite nicely to my role, as does my research for marketing clients that I do on the side.

Two or more times a month someone from  another church will contact me looking for resources, trainings, general help, and sometimes just for someone to know how hard it is. The thing I find amazing is that these people are from around the country of varying sizes with different denominations, backgrounds and so many additional factors that play into their church. I love talking to and helping these churches. I love learning from and collaborating with them because there is always something to be learned for me as well!

I have found that there is very little out there in terms of resources for churches on the who/what/where/when/why and how of First Impressions/Hospitality. – That is NOT to say that churches haven’t created amazing teams, resources, trainings, or programs themselves; it is just not a topic that others can easily learn from like pastoring, discipleship, leadership, or worship in the church. There is significantly less available in terms of resources on the topic and there are no conferences that I have found.

Some questions I get often (and my answers):

Why First Impressions?
If you read through scripture, it actually is very clear that God cares very much about First Impressions. I think the reason behind it varies depending on where you read in scripture, but it is clear, for a dozen reasons it is important… But, it also looks different in different cultures. Read Exodus and Numbers about the creation and descriptions of the Temple… There is a RIDICULOUS amount of attention to detail. God cares about the colors, metals, fabrics, people, location and frequency of the Old Testament Temple. – In fact he cares so much, that if it is handled or approached inappropriately He MAY CHOOSE to kill you instantly. Dang.

Included in First Impressions is Hospitality, which scripture actually talks about as required character trait for Elders (1 Timothy 3:2) and Bishops (Titus 1:8) as well as being a command for all believers (1 Peter 4:9).

But, it is also something we are to PRACTICE and learn how to extend it (Romans 12:13). (wording is different depending on translation for this verse)

Is First Impressions just a fancy hipster name?

Maybe the title itself to could to some degree be considered a trend, however the cultural relevance, spirit and motivation behind it are based solidly in scripture.

How do I know this?

The care that God took with the Temple.
How Paul was careful to learn about the cultures he went to in order to spread the Gospel more effectively.

Included in First Impressions is Hospitality, which is not as simple and fluffy as we can make it to be in church ministry world.

The word “hospitality” is directly descended from the Latin “hospitalitas,” which means, “to be friendly or kind to strangers or guests.”

The Greek words φιλονεξία and φιλόξενος are translated “hospitality” in scripture, and literally mean “to show love to strangers.”

In order to love, be friendly or kind to strangers, you must know and understand them. – If you do not understand them, you risk the chance of offending them, making them feel awkward, creating anxiety or giving them a bad experience… And ultimately this means they are more than likely going to miss the encounter with Jesus because their focus will be elsewhere.

Know the culture of those you are engaging with.

Remove any and all barriers that you can, so that satan cannot use stupid and simple distractions to prevent them from hearing the Gospel.

We are also commanded to show hospitality to one another without complaint. (1 Peter 4:9)
Hospitality is a way we “may entertain angels” without knowing it. (Hebrews 13:2) – (uhm what?!)

But, WHY is First Impressions important?

Because, as believers, it is our job to do whatever we can to spread the Gospel. If that means paying special attention and changing our presentation, approach, signage, language, lingo, and adjusting it so that people (who do not currently know Christ) have the chance to hear the words of Jesus without hinderance: Then do that. – No excuses.

When you are in ministry, in the church world (or in everyday life), it is my personal (views are my own) belief that it is YOUR responsibility to be like Paul, and adjust yourself to reach those around you better.

If we have to change the words used in order for people to better understand the life changing message of Christ. Then adjust.

Changing the language was the whole purpose behind The Message translation of the Bible.

Instead of fighting someone’s culture, as believers, it is our job to use their culture to help us communicate effectively and clearly with them. Changing the language to communicate clearly is found throughout scripture: Jesus did this, Paul did this, the Holy Spirit did this in Acts so that people could take the Gospel back to their cultures in their language and understanding.

First Impressions matter, it works diligently and hard with a passion for others in creating space for people to encounter and know that they belong and are loved exactly where they are today.

The Martha Struggle…

I am a part of a Bible study going through A Discipleship Journey book by David Buehring.

The book is more or less the type of study that whatever you put into it, is what you will get out of it. On the surface it seems simple, basic, and maybe a bit obvious in content. However, with all the points and across each chapter there is scripture to back it up… and we were encouraged to look up the passages “unless we know them by heart and could spit them out.”

Admittedly, I was more interested in the people in the group doing the study than actually the study itself. However, I have discovered that this study actually does help you to see correlations and scripture differently than if I would be just reading the Bible. The way things are put together and connected helps link themes and threads throughout scripture; which is always interesting to me.

I also find that in my head, I always have more time than it takes in reality to actually go through each chapter. – accidental procrastination at its finest.

Recently, we were talking and learning about hearing the voice of God. In the study, it took us through where and how God speaks throughout scripture… Which of course, also lead us to talking through the various things that get in the way of us hearing His voice.

In Luke, there’s a part that talks about Jesus going to visit and stay with two sisters.. Mary and Martha. Mary is enthralled, and just sitting at the feet of Jesus soaking it all in, while Martha is busy trying to get dinner together and all the ‘things’ involved with having guests come and stay. I imagine she wanted everything to be perfect.. Viewing her diligence and hospitality as being her gifting and how she showed her love and care for her guests.

If you don’t know the story, Martha finally gets frustrated and goes to Jesus complaining and asking Him, ‘Don’t you care that I’m doing all of these things and Mary is being lazy and sitting around letting me do all the work? I too would love to join but things have to get done!’ (My own paraphrase of what she said)

Can’t you just feel her frustration? – ‘No one will eat if EVERYONE just sat around all day listening to Jesus talk! It is just logical and practical!’ (Still my own addition to the thoughts of Martha)

Martha WANTS to sit and listen too.. But her understanding of responsibility requires her to get up and do the work needed.

So, how does Jesus respond?… By essentially telling Martha to leave Mary alone, she’s chosen the ‘better’ path.

Because I love thinking through ‘what would I do if I were in that situation?…

I would be so mad if I were her!

My response would probably have been to cross my arms, get my sassy face on, and say: ‘ok, fine then. I too will sit, and then no one will get dinner and we will all starve! Then what will we do?’
If you know me, you’ve likely experienced my logic and sass rolled into one moment (it happens frequently)!

However, because Jesus is the amazing teacher/God rolled into one, He would likely respond reproachfully. Something along the lines of how I don’t ‘need’ to do anything for Him, His kingdom is perfectly capable without me… and then He would do another miracle and snap His fingers giving everyone a food spread like only God could give…

😑

And… I would probably still be mad..

But more out of pride and defiance than anything legitimate… Only to be repentant and understanding of how wrong I was late into the night as I mulled it over when I should have been sleeping.

The struggle is SO real.

Things have to get done. Life has to have people who are doers, movers and shakers!.. How can it be that the one who is ‘lazy’ and sitting to learn be the one who has chosen correctly?!
The heart. It all (always) boils down to the heart.

How do we know? Because of passages like Matthew 25 where it was the people who have DONE things and loved people who truly knew him.

It all always boils down to a heart thing.

God does not need our work, we are not doing Him any favors when we get too busy in our ministry to know Him well.

I am in a season of too busy in ministry… Actually no, that is not accurate. I’m too lazy in my free time by choosing to watch tv online rather than open my Bible. 😒

It is definitely a good reminder of the heart of my actions needing to be about taking the time to sit and soak in time with Jesus, and knowing when it is the time and place to do things… But, not to confuse the busyness with being a good replacement of time spent.

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