So, it was 2019 when I blogged last… Not really that anyone cares, but for more than 2 decades I’ve been blogging and using this space as a way to process. And then life hit, and slowly little by little I just blogged less and less.
I think to some degree I had primarily used this space as a place to process deep things. And, I started struggling more and more with how to do that well or give it the time I needed to do the processing effectively. This blog is weirdly primarily for me, but as a way to include you too; so that maybe something I’m going through helps you too… But, it’s for me.
Which means, I’ve changed the reason (for now) for the purpose of this space. I want it to be a place of light and life or maybe just entertaining distraction during rough periods. I want to not just share deep things, but the fun things, trials, errors, hobbies, and experiences.
Essentially: Life shared and documented.
I’ve changed the theme of this to be a place for dabbling. Because my (new) husband and I talk often about dabbling in hobbies, trying new things, sharing experiences etc… So, I hope you’re able to learn along with me the deep heart things, life obscurities, and all the stupid silly aspects of trying new experiences too! I hope you find hope during dark seasons and that it adds to the light of great seasons!
Here’s the quick update of what happened in my life since the end of 2019!
I met this man Stephen on Bumble around Thanksgiving 2019 (he’s the last paragraph of tentative hope mentioned in the previous post haha!) He was cute, loved Jesus, but mostly he was SO FUN and funny. He liked me, and pursued weirdly (not at all what I thought it would look like or I needed). Stephen moved so… soooo… so slowly. And even sometimes forgot he was supposed to be telling me about his moving, and just assumed I knew I was along for the ride!
2020 hit, my 7 1/2 year old Great Dane passed away from Lymphoma, and when the pandemic started everything obviously shutdown, including my business with my best friend which made finances super tight. My roomies started working from home, and we spent SO MUCH TIME on the front porch of our DC rowhouse. My then not yet boyfriend, but guy I was exclusively seeing kept progressing our relationship, and despite my fears and some pretty large (to me) theological differences, everything was actually very good.
I fell in love with Stephen hard core, it took him a little while longer to realize he loved me too… But, he also had decided almost 15 years prior that he would only say he loved one girl: the one he married. So, he waited until he knew he wanted to marry me before he told me…. 8 months later.. in 2021! lol
2021, found my roomies and I in a new house in MD, bought by one of my roomies, a new emergency re-home Great Dane we re-named Juni… And by fall it also found my boyfriend transition to being my fiancé!
By 2022 we were full tilt wedding planning, got married, and then transitioned to learning to live life as a two-become-one married couple! It honestly was much easier than either of us had prepared for or anticipated! lol However, it is challenging, but in a totally different way than we expected. While we’ve had our fights, the biggest challenge is learning to keep our ever present goal of not just having a healthy, fully functioning relationship; but one that takes steps to avoid issues that are ultimately unnecessary and pull relationships apart. We want to set a foundation and make pre-decisions now that will aid in diminishing problems later.
We also got a second puppy Skydda to fulfill my husband’s life-long dream of having a German Shephard mixed puppy/dog. We have played and traveled so much this year, adventuring and road tripping through much of “middle America” aka the back roads through much of the eastern side of the mid-west (to avoid tolls)!
My bestie and I decided to close our business and stop doing it full-time. Ideally we will still dabble in it, and do fun projects that WE like to do, rather than take anything that will pay the bills. We found that the economy, material prices, and pandemic were lasting longer than we knew how to ride out… And the stress of providing was causing pretty substantial burnout for both of us, plus the physical toll it was taking on our bodies was rough… Not to mention soon I would like to have children, and we didn’t feel it was fair to put the burden on my bestie to carry on the business alone so I could have maternity leave.. Or, worse, if possibly my being 37 potentially means complications, bed rest, etc.. that it would create additional unreasonable burdens. It was a better and more peace-filled choice to call it, to return to best friends, and be grateful to the Lord that I kept my three cut-off fingers, that our business provided for us for 3 1/2 years… And now we can move to a new season! Plus, at the same time, my husband switched jobs as well, and now he’s a salesman for Thompson Creek and loooves it!
As we approach 6 months married, I find myself constantly overwhelmed by gratefulness for the Lord’s faithfulness… In 2018 and 2019 I really was unsure at my core if the Lord would be faithful to me.
But, let me tell you that He is faithful, even if it takes longer than you think it should.
Even now, when life currently feels like *a lot* due to me struggling through coughing and head colds for much of the last 6 weeks, one dog having major stomach issues, the other hurting her paw, and Stephen having new weird work hours… PLUS I’m struggling (yet again) with finding a new job, which means finances are tight… even now gratitude spills out of me. Life is rough sometimes, full of pain and sorrow, frustrations and exhaustion, one thing after another, but whether now or in the distant future, it does get better, it changes, and joy returns.
The Lord is as faithful as the rising and setting sun.
Hold on, because one day, even in the midst of struggles you will find joy and comfort again; but don’t try to rush this current season, let it be what it’s supposed to be, and gain every ounce of learning and wisdom you can from the now.