I Have No Idea…

Today I am a little shocked by where my heart is and where it has settled.

Day three of both my 21 day prayer challenge and my 40 day prayer challenge. – This doesn’t get easier either.

Last night, I went to bed asking God to show me what success looks like, send me a husband that together we bring Him more glory than we ever could apart, and then I asked for His help with my finances. Because I think all of these things are important moving forward. In His timing, and in God’s economy I will be able to do immeasurably more than I understand. Then, I woke up this morning, and asked God to teach me how to pray… and teach me what to pray for.

So, with those prayers uttered last night and this morning I am a little shocked at the indignation I feel towards the useless today. But, more than that, I am amazed at how broken my heart is for the blind.. Not the physically blind, but those who are unable to see the larger picture. I have no idea where these feelings came from because yesterday, last night, and this morning it wasn’t even on my mind.. and by “it”, I mean other people’s opinions, their perspectives, and I had no thought good or bad about where their focus is. Instead, I was focused on aligning myself with God’s heart…

And then, my focus of aligning with God’s heart has found me appalled at the lack of “whatever it takes” to save one more.

What sparked this? Katie.

I am not entirely sure what sparked my sudden indignation, but I was perusing Twitter, stumbled upon this blog post, and became obsessed with finding Katie’s blog, twitter, and learning about her heart. Her view of Jesus sat firmly on my heart as “this is right.” And, in the process I realized that lately my heart aches and desires a real authentic and difficult community that looks like much more like Katie’s life than currently own does… Sadly for me, I do no think it looks anything like me actually picking up and moving to Africa (yet), but instead it means staying right where I am, and creating the environment here that I yearn for.

Then it dawned on me, almost two months ago I began networking… And, really networking with other churches, organizations, and groups in the local and regional area. I know exactly what I am trying to do, and I have a visions for it… But, I have found it is taking a long time for everyone else to understand what I am doing, and even longer for them to buy in and join me. Some get it, others stare at me blankly, and some are just against what I am doing. Which, actually only fuels it more.

I have no idea yet what will come of the things I am feeling, working on, thinking and praying about; but, what I do know is that I am praying, hard for them to come to full fruition. And, I have complete faith in my Creator God that He will explode it to be bigger than I am actually capable of pulling off on my own. I also know without any doubt that God is on the move, and I intend on being and going where He does.

3 days down, 18 and 37 more to go on these prayer challenges. Should be exciting!

Where is God leading and moving in your life? What revelations is He showing you?… Are you following Him?

Community Prayer…

Community is something that God is pretty clear about how important it is to Him. Even HE is a community of sorts (the Trinity.. Three in one..) He decided it was not good for Adam to be alone, that he needed a community, but not just a group that was exactly like him, Adam needed diversity and companionship. Which means, we are supposed to have community, which is hard, and messy, and beautifully diverse, and it literally changes our lives.

Literally, all throughout scripture you see community being incredibly important. Even in the New Testament Jesus pulls a community of people around him. There are spheres even in his circles, He had his three close “inner circle,” then he had the twelve, then there was a much larger group that included women, even his mom and brothers.. and it was more than 100 people!

Community is important. Very important.

But, it goes much deeper than simply just wanting people to be around. We need their faith, their wisdom, support, love, care, sometimes we physically need their help (especially as a woman), and other times we just need them to physically be present in our hurting… But, I would also say that a crucial and sometimes forgotten part to the community puzzle is the prayer for each other.

Oh sure, we remember to pray on occasion for each other, and sometimes we even remember to regularly offer up quick prayers.. But, that is not the kind of prayer I am talking about. I am talking about touching someone and praying the intense, purposeful, expectant of answers, and sometimes the petitions on our knees before our Creator God kind of prayers.

Please do not misunderstand me, both are good things, and prayer is important no matter what, but I have (re)discovered recently just how profoundly different it is to be prayed over with intensity, intentionality, and expectation. Something about community prayer changes things. I know God made it that way, but it amazes me how much it truly makes a difference. Two weeks ago I was prayed over by a few people, and a couple of them said things that literally caused something to shift inside of me, a switch to be flipped, and suddenly the pressure of things I was using to beat myself up with were gone. Without their prayers over me, I am confident I would still be struggling under the weight of those things.

I want to understand what Jesus meant when He said in John 16,In my discovery, the prayers over the 3×5 cards on my bathroom mirror have started to shift slightly. I am really trying to learn how to pray, and asking God to teach me.

“…Truly, truly, I say to you, if you ask the Father for anything in My name, He will give it to you.”

.. Because in my book, anything is actually pretty specific… So, I am asking God to show me and teach me.

I re-discovered literally last night, after spending the vast majority of my day dwelling in and spending quality time with my Lord, the evil one really begins attacking. I knew exactly why he was attacking, and I knew the area in my life he was hitting… I also was keenly aware of the fact that I needed reinforcements, so I reached out to my bff. She knew exactly how to pray for me, and we were able to talk, she was able to share her insight and wisdom, and when all was said and done, I was left amazed at God even more than before.

Prayer changes everything, and community prayer multiplies that ridiculously.

Prayer Summer 2013…

My church is doing a summer prayer series, and one of the recommended readings is The Circle Maker by Mark Batterson. While I have already read this book, I am actually really excited to read it again and gain fresh perspective on it.

Yesterday was the start of a summer small group I am leading. I am excited about the group, and I am really looking forward to seeing where God leads each of us. One of the things we are doing is, today we are kicking off a 21 day prayer challenge. I am looking forward to it, but, I am even more excited to see how He chooses to reveal Himself, and all the ways He is going to answer prayers this summer. I am fully anticipating looking back on this summer and realizing how many amazing and crazy things started this summer. I am fully expecting to be blown away, even though I have no idea in what way or what area of my life. I just know I am excited.

My biggest goal this summer is to gain a larger understanding of who God is, and for who He is to be immensely expanded in my life.

I am not looking to do things ahead of God, instead I am praying and expecting Him to show up immeasurably more than I can even possibly anticipate. I figure, my imagination is pretty large and pretty extravagant… And yet, God is bigger than that, which means I think He is going to show up in some pretty intense ways in the next 21 days, 40 days, and over the course of the entire 2013 summer…. (And likely beyond.)

While I certainly have a list of specific things I am praying for and through, mostly I am just focusing on starting new habits. I am purposefully spending more time with God, but also being sure to intentionally pay attention to and create space for Him to speak to my open and listening heart.

If you would like to join the 21 day prayer challenge or the 40 day prayer challenge with me, give me your address and I will be sure to add you!

In case you have not figured it out, July’s blog theme is prayer. Should be interesting!

Share your stories with me!

What are you praying for this summer?