Month: January 2011
I did not get the chance to post yesterday because right after work I headed to the car place to have them assess the damage from the accident a few weeks ago. Apparently in the state of VA if your car has a door that does not open, then the car is “undriveable”.. the car guy was upset that I had told the insurance it was driveable. I looked at him and said “Uhm.. I drove it here… if there is lingo involved you need to tell people that!”
Then after figuring all of that out, my roomie and coworker headed to the Kennedy center for a free concert, then to dinner where one of my other roomies met up with us.
Then we all headed home to meet up with one of my best friends who I knew was coming for my birthday weekend.. When I got there I pulled into the garage and went into the house, hugged my best friend.. then realized there were more people in the room then should be.. I mean I have 4 roomies, plus my coworker was there, so it is not unusual for there to be a decent number of people around on a semi-regular basis… but there were just too many. So, I turned around and there sitting on the couch were two other besties who I wanted to come up, but just did not ask due to knowing it was unlikely and I did not want to make them feel bad. I just sorta paused and was like “…. You’re here!…” they stood up and hugged me.. I began tearing up just out of the sheer joy that they had come and were going to spend the weekend with me! They all were laughing and commenting on how they had taken bets on my reaction and things.. Then I turned around towards the kitchen and saw one of my other friends creeping across the living-room haha.. I just sorta said “aww… You’re here too!!” he hugged me and I continued to cry and laugh a bit.. we were all laughing and they were telling me all about how the plans had progressed. Then, I got tapped on the shoulder and turned around and my little brother was standing in front of me with a dozen roses. It took me like 2-3 seconds for it to register that it was him.. I squealed and was asked “WHY ARE YOU HERE?!” .. Of course everyone began to laugh at me, and I just had to hug him forever because I began to really cry and I was trying so hard not to sob lol Then I would pull away from him and ask “How did you get here?!” He laughed and told me he ran lol 🙂 It took me a while to compose myself haha .. but then we all commenced to talking about all the plans that went into accomplishing all the surprised, what I expected (or didn’t really) and what I was thinking etc.. I was SO excited. Words do not accurately describe how I felt to have so many people I love go to such lengths to love on me. How humbling!
We spent the rest of the evening talking, laughing, catching up, and pretty much just taking the chance for me to soak it all in 🙂
How awesome. I love my friends and family!
How interesting the last 24 hours has been…
Let me just start with, I am blessed. I am blessed when I am dumb, selfish, retarded, and obstinate. I am blessed when I have my most put together selfless days. I. Am. Blessed.
I have amazing friends who never stop showing their love for me.
I have roomies who laugh with me.. and at me constantly… And who make me food while my butt goes numb trying to figure my homework out… and then stay up late helping me with my homework.
I have the worlds cutest family that truly are just awesome people.
I have worked with some amazing people, and work with some awesome ones even still today.
I am blessed.
And yet, I still find myself going.. “hmm.. ok Lord, what are you doing?..”
Work is paying the bills, but not quite the peaches and cream I was hoping for.. Although, I am learning a whole lot and LOVE my supervisor. I am very frustrated with how some things are getting handled.. and just wish I had the authority to handle them… Cause I would.
I wish I was smarter, and my homework came easier. Instead I find myself every day going “Why did God ask me to do this again?!”… Praise the Lord (no seriously) that I only have 2 years left. However, I have always said, some people are just smart (like my parents and older brother and younger sister).. other people (like me and my little brother) really have to work hard to be smart and learn, and this is a great reminder of what I do not know.. Definitely humbling. School does not come naturally to me, and I certainly do not enjoy the process… Especially when it is a topic I don’t really care about.. (lame)
Big changes are coming again (do you ever feel like begging God for something you can grasp, understand, and like?… No?.. Me neither.. haha jk), while part of me loves challenges, I am facing a few on the outskirts of my life that are really perplexing. I have absolutely no idea what God is doing or why He has put this person, that situation, and these circumstances in my life.
What is interesting in this whole process… I can feel a battle taking place inside of my heart that I am not even fighting. As in, I can feel the human “old man” trying to rise up and take grip of my heart and mind with fears and what if’s.. and I can feel the Holy Spirit taking the battle and fighting it for me replacing it with peace. And, I am thankful.. Seriously, unabashedly thankful for knowing it is taking place, but that I do not have to win the fight, that is God’s to do.
I am continuing to read the “New Thru 30” (the entire NT in 30 days).. and it’s a challenge.. and I am a solid day behind, but I am loving the read.. I mean down to my core I am loving the reminders that Jesus overcame the world, and my faith can move mountains and uproot trees, and my Love for those around me is the biggest most important thing I can do.. I am loving these reminders.. And, I find myself spending a lot of time thinking about all the small things, like Luke mentions that not everything Jesus did or said was recorded because basically it would fill the entire world with books, and my first thought was “COME ON!…I want to read those books!!!” I am thankful for this ridiculously challenging reading schedule because it’s causing me to push towards the one I love so much more… even if I am speed reading sometimes 😉
So, while I have a lot of things to face in the next couple months, work stuff, roomie stuff, doctors stuff, car stuff, school stuff, etc..etc.. I know with absolute certainty that God’s got this too, and I will not worry, no matter how much my flesh, mind, human-dumbness side want to. I am blessed and I am thankful.
BACKSWANZA.. Day 3…
I read this article on CNN’s website, it was talking about 20 questions that women should ask themselves to stimulate thinking and growth.. Some of them were dumb, some were beyond hysterical (“My mind is a two-bit whore..” LOL), and a few were actually thoughtful. So, while you can read the article here if you would like to, I have created a quasi-new list of my own using some of the questions posed in the article and some of my own.. Thoughts or answers?
**The “quotation” marks are so you know what I stole...
“Where am I wrong?”
I do not know about you, but I hate being wrong… And, lets be honest, no one holds to an opinion they do not feel is correct. But, how many times a day am I wrong.. just straight up, slap me in the face wrong.. and I will not take 2 seconds to reevaluate if I am in fact anywhere in the vicinity of correct?.. Shameful.
“What’s so funny?”
“Adults tend to put this question to children in a homicidal-sounding snarl, which is probably why as you grew up, your laughter rate dropped from 400 times a day (for toddlers) to the grown-up daily average of 15. Regain your youth by laughing at every possible situation. Then, please, tell us what’s funny — about everyday life, about human nature, even about pain and fear.” – I had to include this actual quote from the article because I love laughing.. about most anything, but so many times I forget to laugh… It can be healing and the more I laugh at myself often the better I feel.
“How can I keep myself absolutely safe?”
“Ask this question just to remind yourself of the answer: You can’t. Life is inherently uncertain. The way to cope with that reality is not to control and avoid your way into a rigid little demi-life, but to develop courage. Doing what you long to do, despite fear, will accomplish this.” – Besides, what is so wonderful about staying safe all the time? It is a false sense anyway. Aka it is a lie we tell ourselves. So, why not embrace the lack of control.. and learn to dance in the uncertainty knowing that ultimately the good guys win, and Jesus not only Loves me, but wants me to unabashedly follow Him… Then He will REALLY open my eyes to new things… Just sayin…
Sometimes, I cannot help but feel like I have attained all the good or great things in life.. And, now what? What is left to accomplish, see, attain, move, create etc… But, the reality is this is a HORRIBLE place to linger because it lends itself to laziness, apathy, carelessness, hurt, pain etc.. None of which are pleasant or praiseworthy things. So, Now what?… There is inevitably the one answer in the far recesses of my mind that knows, but that I am not necessarily willing to let loose in my mind or life. Too bad that is often where Jesus starts to clean house again.. Dang it!
Attitude is a choice.. What am I choosing?
“Your situation may endanger your life and limbs, but only your thoughts can endanger your happiness. Telling yourself a miserable mental story about your circumstances creates suffering. Telling yourself a more positive and grateful story, studies show, increases happiness. Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing, choose thoughts that knit your heart together, rather than tear it apart.” – I sing this mantra a lot.. But, really.. it might be the only thing I can truly choose. I mean look at Job in the Bible, he really had it “bad” and yet he chose his attitude well… I love the idea that God can honor and bless me because I choose a better perspective. Feelings do not always lead us in the right direction.
How do I change the world by being in it?
I have always wanted to change the world.. and I definitely have a fun bucket list… My goal is to be the old woman (if I live to be old) that has a ridiculous number of stories of places I have been, things I have done, the lives and circumstances that have changed my life and those around me, and all the times and places God has answered my prayers and proved to be faithful yet again. I am excited for that.. I want to change the world!
So, there are a few questions.. I plan on adding to them..
This is what I spent my evening doing… Accounting.
Thank you to my roomie who literally sat next to me for 2 hours or more and walked me through how to figure this stuff out.
What did I learn?… I need a notebook, chocolate, water, and lots of time… I do not think I will get all of this done in time to turn it in. But, thankfully, so far my professor has been incredibly helpful and patient while I try to figure this out.
What I have begun to learn is that Accounting truly is like learning a new language!.. Gah!
However, thanks to my roomie, I FINALLY feel like I am not drowning in these skribbles of notes.
Ps. Thanks to my other roomie for the dark chocolate covered almonds!.. Life savers.. that’s who I live with.
Pss. Thanks to my other roomie, and my other other roomie for making dinner!
Love you guys!
On a totally different note, my dad is the cutest thing ever, he makes me giggle and smile! His excitement and sense of humor just gets me going for no real reason at all other than it tickles me. I love being a Daddy’s girl 🙂
And, as you can tell, I changed my blog.. It was time for something new. We shall see how long this one lasts 🙂