So, after an incredibly long conversation with a couple friends about chivalry and why it’s important.. I am having a real hard time wrapping my mind around it.. I understand the basics “Let me open the door for you” ok that’s nice.. or the little more awkward “let me open your CAR door for you”.. but I am having a hard time understanding the why behind it. Why would you want to do that for me?.. especially if I’m not your girlfriend? I can rationalize (or actually probably more irrationally explain away) why it’s good for others, but what about me? I have a friend who not only offers to give up his seat for me, but moves.. and then stands there and insists I take it.. cause I’ve had guys offer their seats before, but I don’t think I’ve ever taken their seat, cause it’s a lot of hassle.. they don’t move ahead of time so it just ends up being more work, and I like sitting on the floor, so it’s just easier. When my friend Brit and I leave anywhere basically from our time hanging out he walks us to the door, and waits for us to leave. There are probably a few dozen other little things like that that he does that I’m not sure WHY he does it. Brit and I have both asked separately why, and while we’ve each gotten a decent answer from him, its still really hard for me to comprehend it.
Brit’s big issue is why would he do something for her she can do herself?.. I’ve had this explained to me before, so this one isn’t as big an issue for me.. I’ve sorta learned to graciously accept.. even though it can be odd I sorta understand so I’m ok with it.
For me I can’t understand why he would do it for me, especially when I’m just a friend. I could understand those things being done for a girl he was interested in, gf, wife etc..etc.. but why would he do all those things for just friends? I don’t know. He explained it.. but the fact that he kept pointing out there isn’t an ulterior motive is where both Brit and I take pause. Not that we expect the reason to be conniving or with the goal of getting somewhere special, it can be a good ulterior motive.. but still how can there be nothing at all when it comes to chivalrous things?
And, see here’s the thing, I don’t have this desire to “be equal with guys.” The bottom line is they CAN do things I can’t, and there are things they are good at and like doing that I really could careless about, and vice versa. So, I don’t object on the feminist’s views, I just simply don’t comprehend why it’s important.
Don’t get me wrong.. girls.. we.. I… like being treated special. Who doesn’t like to feel important? Or like they are precious.. But, that’s not the point, the point is why is it important to make someone who is just a friend feel special and important (in that context)…
It’s just.. different, and not something I’m used to so it makes me feel awkward, or like I owe them something in return (which he was very quick to expel that idea). But, it’s hard for me to just accept it without feeling like I should do something in return.